640 effing million

Re: Five hundred effing million

Give 99.9% of it away as soon as possible, to World Vision, missions, homeless shelters, wherever it can help the most people for the longest period.

 

Re: Five hundred effing million

Let's see ...

Buy out Dad's and uncle's interests in the family farm (more for estate planning than anything else; probably lease it right back to them)

Set up college funds for two nephews (13 and 2 1/2) and one niece (9 months).

Set up scholarship funds for the high school in my folks' hometown (as opposed to the shithole where I went to HS).

Purchase a relatively remote property (at least a couple thousand acres but still within, say, a three-hour drive of the nearest major city) and build a house.

Get a luxury box for the nearest NFL team just to see what it's like.

Make an extensive world tour and look into purchasing property/homes/condos in various locations (NYC, Calif., Caribbean, Europe/Mediterranean, South Pacific/Australia, Japan, etc.).

But the project that would be especially near to my heart would be establishing Pressboxer's Home for Wayward Girls.

 

Re: Five hundred effing million

Man, I always told myself I'd give away half of any prize I won and thought I was a good guy. Cheers to you if you get your wish.

 

Re: Five hundred effing million

Huh?

 

Re: Five hundred effing million

The more I think about this, the more I think the main thing I would do--besides buy my newspaper company and fire everyone I didn't like, invest in the product and turn it into a real business--is write out a list of all my closest friends and family members, pay off ALL their debts, buy them all a house and then give them a chance to quit their jobs for two months and join me and my wife on an all-expense paid custom-built Amazing Race around the world.

The trip would be set up exactly like the TV show. Teams of two going through all these obstacles and competitions throughout the world and the last team is sent home. Winning team gets a million, everyone else gets $100K each. It would be the greatest two months of my life.

 

Re: Five hundred effing million

I would give $2 million to my mom, give $1 million to each of my five other siblings, put $1 million in trust for each of my nieces and nephews, and keep about $5 million for myself (mostly to help buy, renovate and flip a house, which I've always wanted to do).

All told, I would need $17 million.

After that, I'd give the rest of it away, putting it toward mission work, social causes and charities I believe in, and using it to perform assorted random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

No one needs $500 million, least of all me.

 

Re: Five hundred effing million

 

Re: Five hundred effing million

I'm going to buy a tank of gas.

 

Re: Five hundred effing million

Except Grandma porn. I don't like grandma porn.

 

Re: Five hundred effing million

Sounds fun, except my nearest NFL team is Jacksonville.

 

Re: Five hundred effing million

I would convert it all into loonies and fill up a pool and go swimming ala Scrooge McDuck.

In all serious though, where some have revenge on their mind in buying a paper, etc. I would like to start one. There are people who I have worked with throughout the years who find themselves employed by me and and we'd put together an amazing product.

However, I'm not sure if I would follow through on it. It has always been more fantasy than reality, I think.

I would be very charitable. My parents would retire and receive a nice lump sum. My brother would have his education taken care of. My sister and her husband would have their debts paid off and my nephew would have a trust fund set up for his education. They would all also get a chunk of change, as would all my relatives and my close friends. I would also take care of myself physically. I would get myself back into shape -- I am already on my way there, but have a ways to go -- I would buy my Grandma's cabin on the lake and renovate the hell out of it. I would buy a nice but modest house for myself, probably somewhere back in Alberta (yeah it's not a tropical location, but it's home and it's where all my friends are, the tropics are for vacations). I would do different things. I would go back to school and take a mechanics course so I could work on cars and rebuild my Jeep into a true off road vehicle. I would get my pilot's licence and buy a Cessna. I would finally live. I would find a new direction in life. I would find a way to appreciate the little things in life a little bit more.

With that kind of a jackpot I would probably spend a lot early on, but if being a journalist has taught me anything, it has taught me to be a cheap bastard, I don't see that changing with the lottery. I would take it easy. I would relax. After my initial spurt I would live off the interest.

 

Re: Five hundred effing million

I would buy up millions of acres of useless desert in eastern California, steal a nuclear missle and set ground zero for somewhere on the San Andreas Fault. Then, good bye old West Coast, hello New West Coast. My West Coast. ... Costa del Brad, Guireville, Marina del Brad, Otisburg ...