a-hole dry carp bill belichick reconsidered

After more consideration (browsing around snpp.com), this one from the 22 short films episode is also way up there for me:

Chalmers: Seymour!
Skinner: Superintendent; I was just, uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?
Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Skinner: Uh, oh, that isn't smoke, it's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. [rubs stomach] Mmm -- steamed clams.

Either Chalmers is satisfied with this explanation, or decides not to pursue the matter further. In any case, he goes back to the dining room. Skinner jumps out the window and runs over to the Krusty Burger after Chalmers leaves.

A few minutes later, Skinner makes an entrance the dining room carrying a big platter of Krusty Burgers.

Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Skinner: Oh, no, I said, "steamed hams." That's what I call hamburgers.
Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams.
Skinner: Yes, it's a regional dialect.
Chalmers: Uh-huh. What region?
Skinner: Uh, upstate New York.
Chalmers: Really. Well, I'm from Utica and I never heard anyone use the phrase, "steamed hams."
Skinner: Oh, not in Utica, no; it's an Albany expression.
Chalmers: I see.

 

Billy Corgan: "Billy Corgan, 'Smashing Pumpkins'."
Homer Simpson: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely."

 

"SEYMOUR!!! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!"
"No it's not mother, it's just the northern lights."

 

Cletus: "Hey you know what? I could call my ma while I'm up here. Hey, maw! Get off the dang roof!"

 

"Look everyone! It's the boy that laughs at everybody! Let's laugh at him!"

 

Lisa: Dad, what's a muppet?

Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop and it's not quite a puppet, but man... So, to answer your question, I don't know.

 

2 Milhouse lines always make me and my kids laff for no apparent reason:


Milhouse: I'm so hungry, I could eat at Arby's.

-----

As Grandpa Simpson is about to tell the story of the Springfield lemon tree:

Milhouse: Hey everybody, an old man's talking!

 

Gotta love the threadjack!

 

\IJAG spoke thusly/

I knew you would have a corner for Thane. Bless your soul.

I suppose I won't bring up the burly Tim Manoa.