A place for open letters to the good people of the world.

La vida pasa. El sol brillará en mi día otra vez.

 

¿Por supuesto un celebrar pequeño nunca dolió nadie derecho?

 

Bueno bueno. Una celebración que tendré.

 

Bailarines masculinos?

LOL JK

 

Oh no I've rendered The Good Doctor speechless!

I should get another star for that.

 

Dear Doc and KG,

It makes me sad when you type in a language I don't speak I feel like I'm being exclduded from a thread that's very important to me.

Love,

UT

 

Dear UTshooter,

Try www.freetranslation.com

Love,

KG

 

Dear Airport Concessionaire or Retail Shop:

You take credit cards. Period. Otherwise you have no reason to be at the f---ing airport, where WE DON'T CARRY CASH.

Sincerely, 404 FileNotFound.

 

Dear cousin who was at one time one of my best friends,

I'm pretty sure you got engaged recently and didn't tell me. I don't know how I feel about this.

Love,

UT

 

Dear Manager of the Target store closest to my house:

It would be much appreciated if you could (re)train your sullen cashiers to a)greet customers, b)make eye contact, c)announce the total amount owed and d)say thank you. The woman who waited on me today did none of these things, except for part of c. My total was $17.62, which she announced as "17" (17 what? 17 dollars? 17 cents? And what about the .62?).

This is not the first time one of your cashiers has acted this way and it makes me feel unappreciated. Lucky for you there are no other stores nearby that have the same array of merchandise as Target does, so I'll no dubt continue to shop in your store, despite your rude cashiers.

Very truly yours,

Dyno

 

Dear Mrs. Dyno,

We here at Target treat women like chocolate-covered dung because we know we can. We could call you fat, steal your purse, pull your hair - anything we want - because you'll be back tomorrow thumbing through our high thread count sheets. You are addicted. You don't like it? Go to Wal-Mart. Hahahahaha.

Sincerely,

Your Friends at Target.

 

Dear people in backed-up parking lots,

Thank you to those of you who abide by the unwritten "One from my lane, then one from your lane, repeat" method.

Fuck those of you who don't.

Sincerely,

IJAG