A place for open letters to the good people of the world.

Matt,

It's a shame we don't work together. This fat kid likes treats.

wicked

 

Dear IJAG:

Yes, you did. But I'll forgive you. You'll just have to make it up to me next time I come to Atlanta!!!

Dear Wick:

This fat kid does too! But hopefully, the coworkers will devour most of them!

Matt

 

Dear best friend's step-son who came with us on our trip to Dallas last weekend:

You better learn the value of money real soon. No bag of beef jerky, no matter the source or size, is worth $11. And then you complain about the price of a combo at Chick-Fil-A and decide to order a sandwich and a drink a-la carte ... which costs nearly as much as the combo. Good job saving 20 cents, kid.

Dear other friend my friend invited:

I'm pretty certain this is the last trip you get to go on with him. He paid for the hotel room. He paid for the rental car. He got us the tickets. I picked up the tab on the gas for the trip back because I felt it was the least I could do. And you offered ... complaints. First, everything was free to you. You didn't play for a goddamn thing except food. And we knew you didn't have much money, so we ate at In-and-Out and Chick-Fil-A. And we took you to two places where you said you wanted to pick up something but you walked out of those places with nothing.
And then on top of that, the only way you could make the trip was by ditching work on Saturday and making us head back to Wichita early Sunday morning because you had to be to work at noon ... which was your last day of work at that job anyway after you had ditched the day before. So it was sweet annoying as fuck when you started complaining about how you were going to be late for work when we passed the Mulvane exit, 15 minutes by car from the place where you were going to work for the last time, at 11:30. Fuck. You.

The only way I could make the trip was leaving my office at 11:45 Friday night after a full slate of games, driving 2 1/2 hours to Wichita, being unable to get more than 1 hour of sleep on the couch before we left for Dallas at 6 a.m. I had one hour sleep from Friday at 10 a.m. to Saturday night at 11:30. And then I got to wake up Sunday morning at 6 a.m. But I didn't say a word.

(Up both of) Yours,

Apeman

 

Dear Board,

Is it a really good idea to put an advertisement for custom weaponry on a breakroom bulletin board? Just a little concerned here.

Worried,
SM51

-----

Dear Apeman,

Some people just don't get it ... no matter how hard any of us try. My apologies for having to endure immature crap like you did.

Take care ...
SM51

 

Dear Sam Mills,

I'm bringin' sxy back in 2012,

Told ya,
Sxysprtswrtr

 

Dear sxy,

As long as you're bringing Strawberry Shortcake in the tub back with you.

Just sayin'
Dools

 

Dear Sxy,

Bring it on.

Double J

 

Dear John Edwards,

If you are going to cheat on your wife who is terminally ill, do not expect people to take pity on you and not punish you for your wrong doings while you are sick.

Karma is a bitch.

KG

 

Dear KG,

Newt Gingrich wonders what the big deal is.

Just sayin'
Dools

 

Dear sxy,

Can't. Wait.

Sincerely
Bart Scott SM51

 

Dear online editors everywhere,

Copy editors everywhere would be happy to help post stories, but we'd prefer if you weren't always cackling on the phone for your entire shift. You're not our bosses. We're not here to ensure you never have to work.

-Verse.

 

Dear board,

All of these food ads are making me hungry. I ate breakfast about five hours ago, so it's getting to be about that time. I just need a Rosie robot to cook for me.

KG