A place for open letters to the good people of the world.

KY,

You didn't want to see the texts I was sending tonight. I was showing my love by not sending them to you.

:-*

Lieslntx

 

Liesl,
I'll take your word for it.



KY

 

Dear juco men's coach:

You're down to five players for the rest of the season. I don't think you should be looking forward to how well you think things will go. I think you should be paranoid about the fact that one more injury/"incident"/academic ineligibility will end your season a month prematurely.

Or maybe that's just me. I am the paranoid type.

Yours,

Apeman.

 

Thank you to the Orlando Airport for finding my jump drive, calling me and mailing it to me for free. All without a request from me. I did not know I lost it.

 

Dear 93:

Don't pay any attention to the files we accessed, the data we stole or the porn we downloaded.

Thanks,
OIA Customer Service

 

Anyone can get my stuff with a good FIOA...

Actually, my resume and letters of reference were on it, so maybe they will make an offer.

 

Dear Apeman:

It's called the Four Quarters for a reason.

Duh, winning
Dixie

 

Dear publisher of my former (daily) paper,

Fuck you you fucking fuck.
How long do you think the 4-person news staff will be able to cover the sports department work since YOU CUT THE WHOLE STAFF!!! That staff being a staff of 1, since you chopped out the Assist. SE last year.

Die in a fire,

Spike

 

Dear Crazy Ex,
What part of "I want nothing to do with you" are you failing (miserably, I might add) to comprehend? I don't want to be a dad to your kid, which is what you told me you wanted me to be. I'm not ready for that type of commitment, especially after you and I went five years without saying a word to each other.

And last I checked, your kid has a dad -- he may not be a great dad, but he has a dad. That's not something I want in my life right now, so would you kindly please get out of my life again?

Thanks,
KY

 

Mister,
Don't worry. I am.

She's texted me about 20-some times today and a lot more over the last week, but I'm not responding. And she's blocked on Facebook, so no worries there.

KY

 

KY,

Tonight I am hating everyone but you.

Lieslntx

 

IJAG,

What'd you do to piss off Lieslntx?

CP