A place for open letters to the good people of the world.

Dear Vatican,

Stop sending your former priests out to be DJs at young boys' gymnastics meets.

wicked

 

Dear CBS/Turner consortium:

Thanks for putting both Kansas' and Kansas State's first-round games on TruTV, ensuring that I get about 50 calls this week from people in my area who are irate because the local cable system doesn't carry that channel.

(Up) Yours,

Apeman

 

Dear Apeman,

Move to a better state and get better cable.

Sincerely,

IJAG

 

Dear Board,
I cannot stand when my newsfeed on FB is cluttered by all those "inspirational" photos and whatnot. One of my friends liked 20 or so of those photos, and that's all my newsfeed was.

Annoying as fuck.

KY

 

KY,

I had a pretty popular Texans' focused post. Did that get lost in the shuffle?

I shall post another one soon and wipe out the others.

Doing my best to keep KY interested in FB,
Lieslntx

 

Dear IJAG:

It's just the town I work in. The town I live in has its stuff together. I'll be able to watch K-State before I go in to work. And I can watch KU at one of the pubs on Friday night or come back home, either way.

But come Wednesday afternoon, I expect reality to hit some people in the town I work in hard. Especially our recent KU grad rookie reporter, who just found out about the lack of truTV this afternoon. The look on her face was about what I'd expect if I had run over her dog.

But, hey, they'll be able to watch the Wichita State game. Except that in this part of the state, no one gives two shits about Wichita State.

Go Shockers,

Apeman.

 

Dear Daylight Savings time

As I wake in pitch black and start my bike ride to work in the dark all I can say is I HATE YOU!

Grumpily,

HC

 

Board,

I miss my hair.

I realize how selfish it is of me to admit that.

There are times when I wish it was still there. It was my security blanket.

Feeling like shit for missing something that means more to someone else ...

Lieslntx

 

Dear daytime newsroom employees,

Never stop buying Girl Scouts cookies en masse, then only keeping one box and giving the rest to the copy desk. You will one day drop those damn five pounds and be able to fit into your old pants suits comfortably again. But just because you're on a diet doesn't mean the Girl Scouts of America should suffer!

The desk will bear your burden, fall on your sword of coconut and caramel and dark chocolate and milk chocolate and peanut butter and cookie and whatever the fuck makes a Thin Mint so damn good. But don't buy shortbreads. We get those all year, and the Girl Scouts' version isn't that good.

Thanks,

Verse

 

Lieslntx,

No harm in missing it. You still cut it off. I happened to interview a woman today who is putting together a St. Baldrick's event in honor of her daughter, who lost her hair during treatment for leukemia. I asked the mom if she was shaving her head as her husband was, and she said no, she can't quite bring herself to do it. I laughed and told her that I considered it for a brief moment but came to the same conclusion.

CP

 

Dear daytime newsroom employees at Versatile's shop,

Please consider relocating to the Pacific Northwest region. And please bring your Samoas and Tagalongs with you.

Thanks,

I Should Coco and his sweet-toothed fellow deskers

 

Dear Versatile:

Be a good chap and send a box or two to Coco and a box or two my way.

Hungrily,
Matt