A place for open letters to the good people of the world.

Dear Comcast,
Your digital cable boxes are pieces of shit. Can't watch anything without the "we have detected an error in service" message popping up.

KY

 

Folks,

How awesome is this gonna be?

I showed it to some of the Jamaican guys at work and they went nuts. I think a bunch of us are gonna go see it.

BB

 

Dear Marketing Director:

First, why the hell do we even have a marketing director? But that's for another letter. I'm writing this one to request that you stop liking everything on our Facebook page. It makes it appear as though we're the only ones who like our posts and it's about as professional appearing as a high-school paper where the students interview other members of the staff for their stories.

Yours,

Apeman

 

Dear Mrs. Dixiehack

I recorded the hockey game so I could try to be a good dad. When I finally start the game, I don't want you to wander into the bedroom a minute later and declare "So the Predators won."

Yours in resigned frustration:
Dixiehack

 

Dear Dixie,

Depends on what she was wearing or not wearing when she entered the room.

Just sayin'
Dools

 

Dools:

A cloth nightgown and no intention of doing anything other than feeding the baby and going to sleep. Two minutes for interference.

Icily yours
Dixie

 

Dear Dixie,

Man, that's an Arron Asham.

Just sayin'
Dools

 

Dear board,

Got a pretty big letdown today. I'm going to the grocery store and will pick up beer AND wine. Someone start a not-drunk-IJAG thread tonight and I'll join in.

Sincerely,

IJAG

 

Dear Jagger:

Sorry, man.


Tomas

 

Tommy boy,

I will never drink enough to turn into a man. Though you've certainly drunk enough to turn into a girl.

IJAG

 

Dear board,

Half a bottle of red Fanta down. Half to go. Then I move on to the ginger ale, which I bought in an 18-pack of bottles.

IJAG

 

Dear IJAG,

All that carbonation will make you gassy.

Just sayin'
Dools