A place for open letters to the good people of the world.

Dear dixiehack,

You can always put more layers on. You can only take so many layers off. That's always been my attitude about weather.

Just find yourself a Crimson Tide chook and you'll be fine in the winter.

Your up-north buddy,

I Should Coco

P.S. -- It's not just winter. Today, June 6, it is 40 degrees with rain and strong winds here in the Inland Northwest. Might have to get out the windbreaker for this morning's dog walk ...

 

Dear alarm companies:

Fuck off.

IJAG

 

Dear Woman at Fast Food Restaurant,

I watched you repeatedly berate the 5-year old girl with you into tears at least three times with a controlling, mean, domineering attitude that damn sure wasn't motherly or grandmotherly.

You were so disgusting it was difficult to tell if she was your daughter. If so, she has a miserable life ahead of her. She doesn't deserve to be anywhere near you and your "God doesn't want you to be like that!" attitude.

You deserved to be hit in your hashbrown-gobbling face. Repeatedly and with a metal pole. Bitch.

Six

 

Dear Wednesday,

It's time for you to be over now.

Good day.

ad

 

Dear ad,

It's my Monday this Wednesday...so yeah, I'm with ya.

Also, fuck Thursday through next Thursday as well. Is it my buddy's wedding yet? Going to be a long "week."

Spike

 

Dear Dish Network,
Getting rid of AMC is likely gonna cost you a lot of customers in the next few months.

Please keep AMC.

KY

 

Dear Ijag:

You don't need an alarm. You just need one of the companies to give you a sign.

Feloniously yours
Dixiehack

 

dear board - was it liquor in the front and poker in the rear or the other way around?


hugs - tomas

 

I have a sign. And had an alarm. Neither really deterred them.

IJAG

 

Dear everyone everywhere,

I love OKC, for more reasons than I can count.

The end.

ad

 

Dear Rick,

You are too goddamned old to be eating a really good Italian Beef sandwich at 10 p.m., and the way you felt all night and this morning is exactly what you deserve.

Love,
Rick

 

Dear American Legion baseball team:

You played your first home game Tuesday. You brought me your schedule today. Why don't you explain to me why I shouldn't be bothered by that?

(Up) Yours,

Apeman.