A place for open letters to the good people of the world.

Sometimes things need to be said.

 

Dear UT,

No ties, yet. Told I didn't need one; that it would be a bit much. But I still plan to buy some cool ones from that site you showed me.

Best,
Xan

 

Dear Lady Who Throws Cigarette Butts Out the Car Window,

When you toss out your cigarette butt, look in the rearview mirror and see me screaming "You fucking litterbug," please know I am talking about you.

Sincerely,

Sixtoe

 

Dear Lady Who Throws Cigarette Butts Out the Car Window,

Please forgive sixtoe, he's a little stressed out.


Tomas

 

Dear Terry Francona,

This year Theo actually built you a pretty good bullpen. Please use it.

Sincerely,
KP

Dear Tony Massarotti,

In the future, please refrain from "It's all wrapped up" columns. It goes in the same bin as saying a pitcher has a no-hitter. We know it has no bearing on anything, but some things are just better left unsaid.

Thanks,
KP

 

Tomas,

Sixtoe is fully within his rights. A cigarette thrown from a passing vehicle caused the Interior B.C. wildfires of 2003 that destroyed homes and thousands of hectares of forestry.

Only you can prevent forest fires.

Cheers,

Smoky the Bear

 

Dear People Who Think Cigarette Butts Aren't A Big Thing,

Cigarette butts comprise a large portion, if not a majority, of the litter deposited by U.S. Americans on roads in cities.

It is littering, creates ugly places and I DON'T FUCKING LIKE IT.

Finish your smoke, use the car ashtray -- Oh? What? You don't want stinky butts in your car? Boo-fucking-hoo! -- and please don't litter.

Sincerely,

Sixtoe

 

Dear Board,

When I saw a woman wearing a T-shirt with "SCOREBOARD!" screened on it, will I go to hell for laughing because I think JDV finally found someone?

Curiously,

SM51

 

Dear SM51,

No, you won't.

Sincerely,

6-Toe

 

Dear Comcast,

The afternoon of a Red Sox-Yankees game is not the best time to be doing routine maintenance to the lines. Also, the pace of action seemed to increase greatly when I asked about the length of disruption and the fact that the game was on.

Sincerely,
I wish I had DirecTV

 

Dear Sam,

Hell would be seeing JDV in a belly shirt that said 'Scoreboard!' on it.

Flashy

 

Dear board members,

It's getting ridiculous around here.

The end
Spup