A place for open letters to the good people of the world.

Dear Xan,

Find me one too please.

Best,
K

 

Dear life,

I realize you hate me. I can see it in every single thing that happens to me, and every single thing I do to bring that upon myself. I only ask that I find one aspect of my life --- personal, professional, romantic --- that doesn't make me want to shoot myself in the head once out of every three days.

Thank you,

IJAG

 

Spup,
Thank you.
Flash

 

IJAG,
Don't go where I went last summer. Find something beautiful in every day. Make that promise to yourself.
The sun will rise tomorrow and so shall you.
Flash

 

And one to lighten the mood ...

Dear scabs,
Please fall off my leg soon. If I have more sliding to do this weekend, I may very well lose too much blood.
Flash

 

Flash,

The sun causes cancer.

Sincerely,

IJAG

 

IJAG,

If I could kidnap Brook Jacoby and Alyssa Milano and deliver them to your doorstep, then drive to Denver and put a bullet through old Horseface's head, I would. But I can't. I'm so sick right now, death is welcome, and I have no sick days. I'm putting myself on blast if I don't feel better tomorrow. But things can and will improve for everyone, trust me.

Cordially,

Doc

 

Doc,

I hope the death doesn't come for you. Me? That's a different story.

Sincerely,

Me.

 

Dear IJAG,

Things will balance out. Don't chase the future. Enjoy every breath you take. Something terrific might happen tomorrow. If not tomorrow, Saturday. Maybe next week. In the meantime, relax and find something fun to do. Talk a walk in the park. Go to the zoo. Go read a book to a kid in the hospital. Go to Borders or a coffee shop and people-watch.

Whatever you do, don't fret. You're a pretty girl. Smart. Vivacious. Remember that.

Best,
Xan

 

Dear IJAG,

Buck up, kiddo. You could be older than spnited, receiving bitterly ironic emails from your favorite person, an M's fan with a personal reason to bemoan their collapse, and growing a mole a day.

But you aren't!

Very resp'y,
JJBN

 

Dear IJAG,

Welcome to misanthropy!

LSS

 

Dear LSS,

I don't even know what that word means.

Sincerely,

IJAG

____________________________________


Dear Jack,

It's two moles a day. Thanks for reminding me.

Frighteningly,

IJAG

_____________________________________________

Dear Xan,

The air gives you cancer.

Sincerely,

IJAG