A place for open letters to the good people of the world.

Dear Cingular-which-is-now-the-new-AT&T,

You know those commercials you have where a dropped cell phone call leads one caller to feel completely embarrassed and humiliated? Tired of 'em. They were cute the first time around, but the subsequent 73,485,998 times have just run the concept into the ground.

Please try something else. Soon.

Sincerely,

Not your customer (and not gonna be)

 

Dear 2muchcoffeeman,

I just wanted to let you know what I think of you. You are quite possibly the __________________. I also think that ____________________.

Sincerely,

Mayfly

 

;D

 

Dear church where my dad goes,

Thank you for having and letting me use your fax machine.

You rock.

UT

 

Dear Ace,
Quit driving like a little old woman and get the fuck out of the way.
Signed,
Everyone else.

 

Dear UT,

I got your fax. I don't know what it means but it shall go the right person.

See you in a few,

God

 

Dear clueless lady,

Among other things, I type the classified ads here at our paper. I'm sorry you and a bunch of your friends went to a flea market at a city 35 miles away from here and there was nothing there. Please don't insist that was in our garage sales section, because it wasn't. I know. I type the damned things. Furthermore, I am not responsible for the truthfullness of the ads, even if it FUCKING DID NOT appear in our newspaper.
You said you were going to bring the ad down and show me. That was an hour ago.
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU???

signed,

Platy

 

Dear UTshooter,

Spending all day on this site because you know you have a couple of driving days ahead of you and won't be able to visit it?

Sincerely,

Platy

 

Dear slappy,

Suck on my tailpipe.

You exhaust me.

Ace

 

Dear Ace,

I bet that if you entered a joke contest it would go like this...

Ace: "I was wondering how my jokes did."
Judge: "How many did you enter?"
Ace: "I had 10 jokes, and I thought they were rather punny."
Judge: "It's nice that you thought they won, but no pun in ten did"

Sincerely,

Mayfly

 

Dear Platy,

I'm actually only surfing here between fits of trying to figure out where I'm going to live starting next week.

UT

 

Dear Mayfly,

I hope your friggin' wings fall off.

Ace