A place for open letters to the good people of the world.

Dear Mayfly,

Just be sure to tell the strippers to wear their hardhats. I bet making it rain pennies might hurt after a while.

Sincerely,
Tommy_D

 

T_D,

C'mon, Mayfly isn't that cheap. He keeps the pennies rolled up.

 

Dear T_D and Ace,

It's easier to get the girls to come back that way.

 

Dear cubs fans at Wrigley,

Please quit interferring with balls and causing heartache to the rest of us.

Thanks kindly,
spup

 

Dear bucky, buck-dub, baseball man of baseball men,

One of the last shots in "Knocked Up" is an aerial pull-away (sounds like a kinky sex move, if you ask me) of PCH and the beach and all that is glamourous about the western edges of SoCalian life. Made me wish I was there seeing that shot, the beach, the sunset.

Dear Judd Apatow,
Great movie: 3.65 stars out of 4. I told the cerebral part of my brain to go take a flying fuggat and just relaxed and enjoyed a well-put-together flick. Good stuff.

Dear movie theater executives,
Go take a flying fuggat in a large vat of dong, motherfuckers. I'm 6-foot-1 and 225 pounds and need more space than a sar-fucking-dine. Not only is it bad enough I'm packed cheek by fucking jowl in the theater, but now I've got to be shoehorned into my seat?

Dear makers of Red Bull,
I just drank your drink for the first time ever, and I think I've found my new drug. It's making me feel WEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

Dear Xan,

You've discovered my new favorite drink.

Sincerely,

KG

 

Dear KG,

We're two peas in the same aluminum pod of sweet, sweet elixir for the soul. Each glug tastes like I'm chewing 175 sweet tarts at once. The rush is phenomenal. Glad to see we have something in common, darlin'.

Sincerely,
Hopped-up Xan

Dear Edit button,
I misspelled common.

 

Hopped-up Xan,

You're making me want to make a trip to the store for some of that sweet elixir.

Trying to decide,

KG

 

Dear KG,

You go get a couple, and I'll go get a couple, cuz I planning on hitting the guy'm around 2 a.m. for serious workin' out. Meet you back here in 20, darlin.

Sincerely,
Hopped-up and revvin' like a mofo Xan

 

Xan,

Just wait till you figure out mixing it with Vodka!

KG

 

Dear all good people of the world,

Two Shiner Bock's, one bottle of Greg Norman 2004 chardonnay and two Budwiesers will make a man drunk.

V/r,


t_b_f

 

Dear T_B_F and the rest of the good people of the world,

Sadly I think four of anything can make me drunk.

KG