A place for open letters to the good people of the world.

Dear Xan,

Lay off the sauce, man. That was damn funny though.

Sincerely,
Tommy_D

 

Dear most darling younger brother,

Why did you register at three different stores for the same set of knifes in a block? Do you and your beautiful fiancee really want three different sets of knifes? When did you become such gourmands?

Hugs and kisses,

Your big sister

 

Dear brother of the girl I'm staying with,

Be quiet. You don't have to stop talking for good, but just a couple of minutes of quiet would be nice.

Sincerely,

The girl who just made you cookies and bought you ice cream

 

Dear UT,

Is he talking to you? If so, maybe he finds you irresistable and is quite nervous.

Sincerely,
Tommy_D

 

Dear UT,

Give him an L7 CD to listen to. That'll keep him occupied for 24 minutes.

Sincerely,
Xan

 

I'm the only one here, so I suppose he's talking to me. Mostly, though, I think he's just talking.

He's trying to be funny, and I find most people who have to try to be funny usually aren't.

 

Dear Yuengling I'm drinking right now,

You're mighty tasty.

Yours in non-sobriety,
dreunc1542

 

Dear asshole friend of mine,

This whole dodgy bullshit is getting really old. If you tell me you're going to meet me somewhere or talk to me at certain times, then do it. Stop telling me you'll be somewhere or catch me later when you have no intention of doing so. Once or twice a month I get. Real life happens. Every fucking night is a bit of a pattern.

I'd take the hint, but you're one of the only people I talk to consistently, and I really don't want to give that up. If I didn't talk to you, I'd talk to no one outside of work out here.

Fuck you very much,
Kritter

 

To anyone reading,

Please forgive me for not thinking too much of my mother. Watching my stepfather in pain, sometimes disoriented, sometimes angry at himself for not being able to do what came easy and/or naturally and frequently irrational isn't helping my already-pessimistic outlook on life.

Having my mother out of the state two weeks at a time makes me think not-so-kind things about her. Calls are helpful, but her husband is terribly uncomfortable with her so far away. Some people make sacrifices for those they care about. Why can't a well-educated relative take the hint?

Thanks for reading - and enjoy your lives currently in progress ...

SM51

 

Dear Press Man,

I can hear you when you cuss me out. I'm in the next room.

I know you hate process photos on an inside page, despite the fact the page may have full-color ads so it will be run in process anyway. Most days I accommodate your request and run BW photos on the inside process page, regardless of how stupid that looks.

But sometimes I have a good photo that needs to be run in color. And, well, it's a process page. That's what it's for, right? To have things in color?

So quit your bitching and do your job.

Yours in newspapering,
Cadet

 

Dear UT,

So that's what they're calling it nowadays.

Yours in whimsy, Dooley.