A place for open letters to the good people of the world.

Dear Canada:

Thanks for three things ...

1) Ice Hockey (Great HOF in Toronto and a quality sport as a whole)
2) Some of the nicest and most fun-loving people on the planet (Factoring in the Toronto outing and my dealings with hockey players over the years)
3) Rush (Another outstanding concert ... third time in person and it's yet to get old)

Sincerely,

SM51

 

Dear star at the center of our solar system, d.b.a. The Sun,

Please don't be so hot. I'm currently residing in an apartment that has no form of air conditioning which faces you as you rise each morning. This makes my place hot and stuffy all day. I know it is considerably cooler outside once you set for the day, but my apartment continues to cook.

A window AC unit is not possible because of the type of windows I have. Every night has turned into Wet T-Shirt Night at Cadet's place. Contrary to what one might think, this is not sexy. It's a practicality because I can't sleep in front of an open refrigerator.

If you must continue to be so hot during these summer months, at least contract with the rain clouds every once in a while. That usually brings some fresh air and cools the building. Then perhaps I could get some decent sleep at night.

Yours worshipfully,
Cadet

 

Dear Cadet,

Get a swamp cooler.

Love

A former resider of an apartment with no AC

 

Dear SC,

I would love to, but my window doesn't support it and the only water input/output source would be my bathtub. Bah.

Love,
Cadet

 

Dear Cadet,

I live in one of the sweltering Bible Belt states and I am lucky enough to have an overhead fan and a floor fan on high at all times. I don't even leave my air conditioning on overnight. Invest in a good fan and it'll be more than worth it's price.

Sincerely,
Tommy_D

 

Dear intern who has adopted my desk:

I get that you don't have your own desk yet. That's not your fault. You seem to have adopted my desk as a place to work when I'm not here in the mornings. I don't really like that, but I can't get mad when they've forced you to have to find some place to sit.

However.

The fact that you a.) change things on my computer (which hates people to begin with), b.) get into my books and resources and don't put them back the way you found them, c.) take my pens and other desk things off my desk to never return them and d.) leave your crap here once I get back and don't clean it up really pisses me off.

Therefore, I've started to lock all my shit up in the drawers. Is this petty? Totally. But I'm really picky about where I work. Incredibly. It makes me crazy to not have things right where I think they should be. I really want to password protect my screensaver so that when you try to get on, you can't! I won't do this, because you're a nice girl who just doesn't quite have the same respect for the workspace that I do. But darling, don't press your luck.

Also? Don't give out my phone number to your interview subjects, because I'm not your secretary and don't want to have to track you down if they call me back when you're out of the office. You're at my desk for about three hours a day and wandering around about five more. Give them your cell's number or the main news desk. Not the sports department.

In conclusion, my dear intern, this is not your desk. This is like visiting your boyfriend's parents house when they're not there. Leave it like you found it, and don't have strange people calling.

Not so much love,
Kritter

 

Dear guest,

Why are you reading Cheer up, Sportschick? It creeps me out.

Yours in weirdness,

SC

 

Dear darling Buck-Dub,

Because I was stalking you and noticed him.

Love

SC

 

Dear buckweaver,

I knew it.

Love

SC

 

Dear vending machine filler person:
I want Pop Tarts. I do not, however, have any interest in cinammon rolls at this time. I bring this up because the Pop Tarts are always right behind the cinammon roll that has probably been there since Mondale ran for President. I realize that you're raking in the dough what with your offerings of Snickers, M&Ms, and Skittles for 75 cents a pop. But I really wanted Pop Tarts. You have lost a potential sale. Thanks for reading.

LSS

PS: You do garner my undying love for the never-ending supply of Andy Capp's Hot Fries.

 

Dear God,

Why do people who have no business posting on job threads post on job threads?
I hate those people, especially when I know who they are and yet they continue to spew their rhetoric about how it is a good job.

Yours,
Angola!

 

Dear Angola!
You know you really want to move to Boise.

LSS