A place for open letters to the good people of the world.

Dear Kritter,

I'm from a small town like that (although it was full of twisted corruption behind the scenes). But it's small enough that it will never have a Kinko's. They pretty much roll the streets up by 10:00 there.

Sometimes those dull little towns are much more of a home than any major city ever will be. I guess you probably have to have grown up in one and moved away to a large city to really be able to appreciate it though.

LOL Maybe I'm just a little homesick. As I sit and think about it, I really do like the fact that within 5 minutes I can be at a my choice of several grocery stores or even Wal-Mart. Within 10 I can be at the mall (well that is until I move out this weekend). Where I grew up, the grocery store was about 30 minutes away, Wal-Mart was about 35 in the other direction (if you sped a little) and the nearest mall was an hour away.

Both have their good characteristics.

Sincerely,

K

 

Dear K,

Good mornin', darlin'.

Have a good day.

Me? It's a-deadline day!

Sincerely,
Xan

 

Dear Xan,

Good mornin' to you too.

I have some today too, hence my frantic writing this morning. Hope your deadline day goes well.

Sincerely,

K

 

Dear Gym-Goers -

You know, it is June. It's not Christmas. There are plenty of parking spaces to be had. Why do you have to sit and wait for a space to come open near the front of the gym? YOU ARE ABOUT TO GO AND WORK OUT AFTERALL!?!
Please, just find a space and WALK! I hear it's good for you.

Worried about your blood pressure and trying not to give you the bird,
Sxysprtswrtr

 

Dear Sxy

They do that at mine too. Makes no sense to me at all...unless of course it's one who piles out three or four little tots who are going the daycare center in the gym. I can kind of understand then.

 

Dear McDonalds drive-thru workers ...

How long does it really take you to make a Large Vanilla Milkshake? I know I could make one in less than 10 minutes I waited at the line of shame you sent me to. That line is for people who have placed rediculous orders or incredibly large orders. Hence an example of both in one order: Let me get 15 double cheeseburgers, On 3 I want ketchup only, On 5 I want no pickles and no mustard, On 2 I want just pickles and onions and on the other five, I'd like extra pickles, extra onions and no mustard! Oh and let me get 5 Large drinks: One sprite, one diet coke, one regular coke, one orange and one Hi-C ...

Thanks for making me look like one of THOSE people.

Yours in all hatred,
Tommy_D

PS: I've actually been behind someone who's done something like that. I immediately left the drive-thru in fear of having my stuff spiked.

 

Dear Sxysprtswrtr,

Didn't you hear that it's not cool to any work except after one is ACTUALLY in the gym? That way, someone else does all the work. It's too much of a hassle to consider parking the car somewhere within a space and being done with it.

The pain, the shame ... having to take 10 more steps to get into the facility is a big, big deal. :



Take care ...

SM51

 

Dear Tommy,
Don't go to McDonald's. Problem solved.
Yours in health,
Joe

 

Dear hotel management:

I am pissed. For four days, I've been reporting to you that my room's air-conditioning unit is squealing uncontrollably. For four days, your engineer has been trying to fix the thing without success. And I've been having trouble sleeping with all that racket going on.

Please approve replacing the unit posthaste (means: RIGHT FUCKING NOW, ASSHOLES) so I may have a nice quiet night.

Thank you very much for your kind and prompt attention to this matter.

Grumpily, &C &C

 

Dear zoologists,

Don't lions get hot in Africa? I mean, they've got those big manes of thick fur. Most other animals of that region are either shorthair or don't have fur. Just curious.

Swelteringly,
Cadet

 

Dear Pop, Brian and Aunt Carol,

Wish you was here, think about you every day, walked over a great southern bridge last weekend after an equally great seafood dinner and thought of all of you all. Now I know what Stevie Wonder meant by "Ribbons in the Sky."

yours in the coming

L.J.B.

 

Dear LJB,

I could listen to "Ribbon In the Sky" just because. But I certainly see your point.

Yours in music,
SM51