A place for open letters to the good people of the world.

Dear Zeke,

What the **** is wrong with Johan Santana?

Regards,
Pallister

 

Dear Mr. Irish,

What does THO mean?

Wonderingly yours, Dooley.

 

How could I be inconsiderate to another Magnolian.

I toiled in a beer barn in college. It taught me humility.

Yours in Pornography,

LJ Beauregard

 

Dear writing irish,

Didja see the bitchin' pass I just made?

Sincerely,
Rob Niedermayer

 

Dear LJB,

Look forward to shaking hands with you.

Sincerely,
Moises Alou.

 

Dear Rob and other Ducks,
I'm working tonight, so I missed the pass in question. Might not want to fly over Kansas on your way to Ottawa; Platy's armed, I hear.

Dear Dools,
THO is Titty hard-on.

Dear Evo Morales,
Please stay cool and don't become a Hugo Chavez.

Dear Ron Washington,
I hope you don't get fired...the mess in Arlington isn't your fault, IMO.

 

Dear God,

May my oral surgeon be mistaken when he discovered while looking at my x-rays this afternoon that tomorrow morning's wisdom teeth extraction will likely result in permanent loss of half my taste buds and feeling in my lips and chin.

Thanks,
CradleRobber

 

Querido Dios,

On behalf of CR, second that.

 

Dear oral surgeons of the world,

Somebody please step up to offer a second opinion to CradleRobber, whose current oral surgeon is apparently a hack. (Alas, there is no word on whether he is also bitter and young.)

 

wow - good luck cradle.

 

That's when I would say, "Leave the damn wisdom teeth in."

 

My exact words. Three of the four are impacted. Trust me, I wouldn't be doing this if it weren't absolutely necessary.