A Very SJ.com Thanksgiving

Paging any SportsJournalists.com chef to come to my parents' house and replace my mother for Thanksgiving. Dry turkey, drier stuffing, no yams, lumpy gravy and cheap wine. I begged her to make reservations this year, but she "likes the way the house smells on Thanksgiving" while torturing the rest of us with the finished product.

 

You can come to Parts Unknown....
Onlything Moms making is the turkey -- I'm doing the rest, except for sweet potato casserole which I refuse to make...

 

I don't understand sweet potatoes. Potatoes by nature shouldn't be sweet. Nothing I hate more than peanut butter, mayo sweet potatoes.

 

Right there with ya... Ms. Slappy's mom is making them at her request....

 

I'm with y'all. Fuckabuncha sweet potatoes.

Garlic, chives and cheese in good old fashioned baby reds.

 

My darling wife thought it would be fun to invite a sibling to our house this year. she invited all five of her siblings and with the exception of the one living in Texas, they will all be in our living room that day.

I'll be at the gym for three hours that morning.

 

I'm going to sauce up my Pepsi's with some Ouzo.

Oh Thanksgiving? I don't know fuck all about turkeys, other than dark meat rules.

 

I don't get the anti-love for yams and sweet potatos. Oddity: I love sweet potato casserole but don't care for sweet potato pie. Does that make me racist?

Part of me wants to get the family to do some different shit for Thanksgiving this year; different stuffings with fruit instead of gay ass walnuts, or some such stuff. But then part of me just wants to stay home and eat a turkey sandwich while typing out notes for the next day's HS football playoffs. And part of me fears I'll be working at Cracker Barrel that day, which that day will have more assholes than a Boots off-Broadway production.

 

I absolutely love Ouzo.

 

pity you dont drink,,.

 

We'll be having candied yams, two kinds of green beans (casserole and this other kind for which I have no name), smoked turkey, stuffing my dad doesn't like, stuffing he does like, deviled eggs, mashed potato casserole, potato casserole (a different kind), Sunday rolls and at least a buttermilk pie and a chocolate pie.

I really want to make stuffing with oysters and sausage. Any recipes?

 

I'll be working, and eating some lousy fast food probably.