Adult ADD

Bubbler--I'm sorry, but I am so jacked up on Adderall that I couldn't get through your whole post.

Kidding...sorry. My general feeling: whatever I've done for 40ish years has worked really really well for me...in no way has it damaged or hindered my life in any way. I do tend to be somewhat impulsive, and I think that's part of this I could stand to control. But again, that too has really served me well over the years. I rarely hold back when I have an idea, and in my work, that is a major bonus.

I haven't worked out yet while taking this...I am somewhat afraid my heart will blow up. If so, tell Boom I love him.

I really appreciate this feedback, as well as the PMs.

 

Probably should have put this all in one reply, but you know, ADD, etc etc.

Anyway, 21 eloquently summarizes how I feel 24-7-365. But it's not just my menial everyday tasks that are affected. My writing is now affected too. It feels like I have so much to do that I can't do anything. I eventually do write, but there are long-term projects that are no closer to getting finished that really need to be finished like, umm, a while ago.

I can't decide if this is an environmental ailment I've brought upon myself; that my problem is self-restraint because I can't just check in here once a day or stop wasting time on the Net after 15 minutes. I was far more productive before I had a laptop, because I had to work on a desktop in a room without a TV. Ever since I got a laptop, it seems like I'm multi-tasking and getting nothing done.

But I also wonder if I've had ADD my whole life. I read an article about adult ADD recently and showed it to the two people in the world who know me best: My wife and my mom. And both were like "Uh huh, that's you...and that's you...and that's you..." I've always had trouble focusing on stuff I don't like, which explains the poor math and science grades. But now I'm finding it tough to focus on the stuff I DO like. And I really feel like my writing is suffering. Maybe someone else can't tell (I hope), but I know the effort is not the same. Maybe the end result looks the same, but I know something I've banged out in a hurry because I couldn't get started on it isn't as good as something I wrote at a more normal pace.

Yet I don't want to be on drugs. I fear taking something and feeling dulled, as Hole describes. My wife and mom recommend making lists, but I'm not sure if that would work. I just know I'd love to feel as focused as 21 seems to feel today.

 

This describes my mind to a T. I always seem to manage to get things done, but I also analyze how I will do those things so much that I don't actually give myself enough time to do them. It can sometimes become very angering. This many times happens to me at night before I go to bed, I look ahead so much that I end up just laying in bed for like an hour thinking about the future and losing precious sleep time. Like 21, I have no problem with the bigger things, but I tend to mess up small matters over and over just because I'm always looking towards the next thing. Like Hammer, I sometimes cannot enjoy very relaxing situations because I want to know what we are doing next and how we are doing it. Luckily, this summer when I went to South Fla with my family I was able just to relax, read, lay by the beach and enjoy. It was the first time I can ever remember being able to do that on a vacation. I do think always looking to the next thing causes me to put way too much stress on myself that could end up in health problems later in life (yes, I do undertsand the irony of this last statement). I have always thought that I have ADD, and whether I do or don't, it feels really good to be able to write down how this affects me.

 

I know this subject has come up before. I have the same kind of ADHD as Adam LaRoche. Below is a snippet from the AP story on LaRoche and ADD from earlier this summer. I have difficulty concentrating and sticking with whatever I'm doing. And I'm horribly, horribly inconsistent about showing up anywhere on time. It's something I could fix with a shred of discipline, but medication would probably make it a lot easier on me. I just prefer living without self-medicating right now, although I sometimes consider going back on Adderall.


While ADD and ADHD are normally associated with children who have trouble sitting still in class, about a quarter of the cases don’t show those sort of symptoms. For them, it’s simply more difficult to stay focused.

They forget things. They’re disorganized. They’re inattentive to what others are saying.

Even within that group, there’s another set of symptoms known as “sluggish cognitive tempo,” according to Quinn. “That’s people who go at their own pace. They get there when they get there,” she said.

 

Wow, BYH, I have many of the same problems. I just can't sit down to do things. Even when I have a ton of time I always try to find something else to do, especially when it is something I don't like. For that reason, like you, I am not good at math and science simply because I don't like them and won't take the time to sit down and do them. For me I have found that it helps to have cues for me to do stuff. I try to duplicate the environment for certain situations that require my full attention. When I am at school and I need to write a paper I have to listen to Coldplay, for some reason turning on the first Coldplay song on my iTunes list puts me in the mood to write, I have no explanation for why that happens.

 

I've had alot of experience with deep focus on tasks at hand and.......

























oooh, shiny object!









Good luck 21 and congrats for baring your soul here. I know its not easy.

I think the only thing left for a board member to do is have a complete colonoscopy done, online.

 

Maybe on my next trip to the doctor.

 

ragu, i'm not exagerating when i say that i could have written almost everything you wrote (except for the part about getting into zones and focusing for long periods).

people who know me casually think i'm the most calm and cool cat around. inside -- and to those who know me -- it's the exact opposite.

my mind races way faster and way too far for my own good. i may not be 50 steps ahead like you, but i have 10 contingencies plotted out before you even finish what you're telling me.

my tendency is also to lock myself in a box and i've also learned that confronting it is the only way to succeed.

it's social anxiety. i've  taken drugs in the past for it but went off them years ago. been thinking about going back on them because law school has made me so anxious that i often feel like i'm losing it.

 

I this might be an acceptable substitute until that day comes.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/peter_king/03/27/mmqb/1.html

 

Let me echo Leo re: Ragu's spot-on post. I often wonder: Why is it I can bang out a ton of stuff from 4 am to 8 am but not 4 pm to 8 pm?

I'm self-aware to a fault. Not a good thing to have when you need to ask questions in a room full of people.

I had a couple panic attacks a couple months ago. I've been in fear of another one popping up ever since. My first instinct was to, as Ragu says, lock myself in a box. but that would never work and I recognized I'd just keep crawling into a smaller box. I've felt a little better lately, but I still worry about another one striking me, particularly during a one-on-one interview.

 

A few more things, it's not my fault the Adderall is making me say all of this:

1. Obsessive focus on one task is also a sign of ADD, it calms the chaos. ie, kids who sit at the playstation too long. They need it.

2. Jones, if you're reading this, ADD also explains Michael Chabon's Midnight Disease we discussed long ago....obsessive need to write and write and write. I would not ever want to be cured of that.

3. About the colonoscopy, I actually considered doing a thread on that, because it's really important, but decided I had told too many people in the real world I was doing it and didn't want to deal with the AHA! factor.

4. And finally (I hope, will this stuff EVER wear off?!), there are plenty of women in the sports business who have ADD, I am certain...the next time you hear one of them mention it, PLEASE do not assume she is 21. Thank you.