Air fresheners

Maybe the problem isn't with the air you're breathing but:

* Your company being too cheap to have a sink or water fountain outside the bathroom. Jeez, even my Scrooge rag had bottled water.

* Your co-workers eating asapargus, spicy sausage and other fart-bomb-producing foods, then leaving floaters in the can. Maybe THEY need to watch what they put into their body.

 

I don't care if the water comes straight off a pipeline from Arrowhead Mountain, the thought of getting your drinking water from the bathroom faucet makes me ill. The same place where people defecate and touch everything with their defecation-laden hands... yecch.

 

Defecation-laden hands?
What the hell is going on at that place?

 

Poin works with feces-throwing chimps. It's the only explanation, and it actually explains a lot.

 

If only...

 

So, is that water cooler going to be smeared with feces when those two are done chatting?

 

"So did you see America's Got Talent last night?"

"I did! That girl withi the ukeuele (sp) was something else!"

"She sure was, Tammy! She sure was!"

"Hey Biff, I don't know about you, but when I take a shit, I wipe my ass with my hands."

"Me too!"

"Let's smear our hands all over this and infect the rest of the office with our germs!"

"Sounds great!"

 

Slogan:
Everything goes better with sh*t.

 

Look at that devious grin on her face. "Our co-workers have no idea how we've soiled this water cooler!"

 

Today's drink special:
The sh*t-tini
Your choice of garnish — peanut or corn

 

Shaken or stirred?

 

Swirled.