All-Purpose Hockey Thread II

The Sharks tried out the new sweaters and socks (shuddering, and violently rocking back and forth) last week and came to a conclusion: They suck.

http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/sports/hockey/nhl/san_jose_sharks/16287570.htm?source=rss&channel=mercurynews_san_jose_sharks

 

I'm convinced this is all a plot to drive the sale of current sweaters. Because EVERYONE on the Pens fanboard I hang out at is buying one this year before the change.

Hopefully, the new duds go the way of the new NBA ball, if all the shit I'm hearing about them is correct.

 

The sweaters are going to be like the ones used in international competitions (Olympics, World Championships, World Juniors). I have a XXL Canadian Hockey Jersey, a replica of the ones they wore in Torino, and it's uncomfortably tight around the shoulders and very short-sleeved.

 

Jean-Sebastien Giguere left the game with the Sharks with some sort of injury. That would be a tough blow to the Ducks. Couldn't tell how serious it was. He left under his own power, but did look to be in pain.

 

First of all, Johnson's horrific night couldn't have happened to a more deserving prick. He played junior in my hometown and was an insufferable jerk-off.

Second, how does a team score six goals in the first 11 minutes of a hockey game and then fail to score at all in the next 49? The Sabres should have had eight or nine in the first period alone and then kept putting it right to the Caps. Someone also should have taken Ovechkin's head off after he scored and then mocked the booing crowd by putting his hand up to his ear Hulk Hogan-style.

Just once I'd like to see an NHL coach urge his players to just go out and keep burying the other fucking team. Give me 14 or 15 goals, minimum. I want to see someone take a run at Darryl Sittler's 10 points or Joe Malone's seven goals. I want to see offence out the ying-yang. I want to see the Chiefs, the toughest team in the Federal League, not this buncha pussies. You gotta twist 'em, you gotta fuck with 'em! Whaddya mean it was a garbage win? ???

 

That was a fun game to watch. I'd love to see them put up 10 or 12 goals on those asshats from Washington, but six goals in 11 minutes, that's basically a big 'Eff You'. Hell, six goals in 11 minutes, that's better than laying out Ovechkin for dirty hit on Briere a couple of weeks ago. Ovechkin—probably one of the best players in the league— doing his thing after scoring a meaningless goal was interesting. Good for you, you gave the crowd a lil something, too bad you're getting embarrassed on the ice.

 

He celebrated after scoring a goal when his team was down 6-0? Ha ... young Jedi has much left to learn ...

 

Stars captain Brenden Morrow is out indefinitely after having his wrist tendons severed by a skate blade in last night's game against Chicago.

 

That's probably the rest of the season, Kritter. Rod Brind'Amour had a tendon injury three years ago - don't recall if it was hand or wrist - and it cost him the rest of the season.

If they're completely severed, they'll have no choice but to surgically reattach them.

 

God damn, can it get any worse injury-wise for Dallas?

 

A tale for our Ontario friends ...

Two guys from Timmins die and wake up in hell.
The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire.
The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"
The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."
The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat.
The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks them "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel it?"
Again the two guys reply, "Well, like we told ya yesterday, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."
This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go.
The people are wailing and screaming everywhere.
He stops by the room with the two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling sausage and misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves."
The two Canadians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Timmins so we've just got to have a cookout when the weather's THIS nice."
The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight.
Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell.
The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan, and gnash their teeth.
The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Canadians.
He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques, and mittens. NOW they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!!!
The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy.
What is wrong with you two???"
The Timmins boys look at the devil in surprise, "Well, don't you know? If hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup!!!"

 

I'd hardly call it celebrating. The crowd was booing him and he played it up. Not that big a deal.