All-purpose, running Tim Tebow sucks/is a deity thread!

If Tebow was so good, why did he sit those games? Satanists on the coaching staff, obviously.

 

Obviously, Florida graduates on the coaching staff.

If Tebow had gone to LSU instead, he'd have won five Heisman Trophies and would be an overachiever like JaMarcus Russell. And the backup left guard's daddy would have his back.

 

But I would fucking ROCK with my finale of Maggie Mae, sending everyone away with a warm euphoric feeling.

I am really unfamiliar with the stat-keeping method that assigns extra losses for games where you play really bad. I need to do more research obviously.

 

Do we have any Vanderbilt fans who hate Tebow b/c he didn't go there? Maybe Brian Griffin's fourth cousin twice removed?

 

Tebow's a locker room cancer, I hear. Like Emmitt Smith with the Cowboys. You had Michael Irvin, Jerry Jones and Barry Switzer trying to keep things sane and Emmit would go trying to be all "Gator Chomp" and stuff and mess things up.

If only he had gone to a real college, like LSU.

 

If Tebow had gone to Vanderbilt, he would have won seven Heismans, the Ray Guy Award for the times he would have quick kicked 80-yard punts, the Outland Trophy because he'd have gone both ways and had 20 sacks and the the Naismith Award because he would have been in an inside-outside tandem with Will Perdue, who would have gone back to college just for the chance to play on the same court as The Great Tim Tebow.

 

I am simply an objective football fan.
The Broncos organization cannot make it more clear that Tim has to grow.
Also, the offensive coaching staff had to piece together a new system half way through the year and they were robbed of a full preseason with him.
I think that we can expect a big growth from Tebow next year in terms of reads and the like.
Ask many of the offensive players across the NFL and the biggest thing we learned about Tebow this year is his ability to lead a team- an intangible that can't be taught.
Tebow isn't a flash in the pan.
He is a player that men rally behind, and I'm glad he's playing well.

 

If Tebow would spend more time with 3OctaveFart he would learn the simple joys of sock puppetry and the simplicity of life without leading between paragraphs.
.

 

If Tebow had gone to Alabama instead of Florida, they'd be playing in Tebow-Denny Stadium and instead of having a video with some old man growling about "being nothing but a winner" they'd have Tebow highlights with LTL's voice declaring "All he does is win."

Outside, they'd have taken down the statues of the coaches and replaced them with statues of buxom coeds Tebow has been pictured with, but has not slept with.

 

Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
TIM TEBOW! TIM TEBOW!

Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
TIM TEBOW! TIM TEBOW!

Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?
TIM TEBOW! TIM TEBOW!

Who robs cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
TIM TEBOW! TIM TEBOW!

 

If Tebow had gone to Auburn instead of Florida, he'd have knelt before the trees at Toomer's Corner and they would have sprouted, more healthy and green than ever and somewhere, a Live Oak of reconciliation would have sprouted in the yard of Harvey Updyke and the largest, most majestic limb on the tree would have reached into Harvey's living room and punched him in the face as he lay on his barkalounger watching a rerun of the Nick Saban Show with the volume down while listening to the Paul Finebaum Show.

 

If Tebow had gone to Missouri instead of Florida, Missouri would not have joined the SEC. The SEC would have joined Missouri.