American Idol 2012

HOLY SHIT WHAT HAPPENED TO ACE?

 

In what respect? The ugly?

 

The ugly, the long long long hair, the not-looking-like-Aceness.

 

'I am telling you' drag queen showdown, this is totally ridic...where is P Labelle to school these beyotches

 

I gotta say, and I'm probably stating the obvious, but Phil didn't look too good. Really pale and, just, sickly.

I hope he can take serious care of his health issues starting tomorrow.

 

Good times: The local news is wall-to-wall Phillip Phillips.

 

That was great TV at the end when he couldn't keep singing, handed off his guitar and went to hug his family. Good finale, but the one thing I noticed was that Ryan didn't really pause before he said 'Phillip Phillips,' as if it were a forgone conclusion.

 

Chaka Khan, I no longer feel for you ...

 

Loser’s group number “Runaway baby”—What a fun way to kick off the finale. No, I’m not kidding. I usually hate these group numbers but this was really cool. I enjoyed seeing some of the faces from this season, especially Shannon. Man, I don’t remember her being so hot. She looked stunning in that white get-up. Apart from Joshua busting his ass, I thought this was a great number. Loved the break-dancers as well. Good stuff. 8/10.

Phillip Phillips “Have you ever seen the rain?”—I thought for sure Idol was going to bring out Dave Matthews to sing with Phil here. Guess they wanted America to keep the illusion that P2 is completely unique and unlike any other act going today. As for this performance, I’m glad they got the singer from CCR here because the last time this song was performed on this show, it was from Casey Abrams and though I liked that version at the time, it has not aged well and sounds like shit now. This was a cool little duet. It’s like the Idol producers knew Phillip was likely going to win and people would complain about the “WGWG” phenomenon so they decided to double down once the votes were in. Still, hard to deny P2 looked natural up there with a legend like that. 7/10

Phillip Phillips “Bad moon rising”— I wish I could say this was as good as the first track but Phillip’s changing the melody of this track didn’t mesh well with the original version being played at the same time. It’s like Fogarty was knocking it out the park and Phillip was trying to overshadow it and it didn’t work for me. It might have had Phillip stuck with the melody or Fogarty changed up with him but this version just seemed like a weird mesh to me. 4/10.

Joshua Ledet and Fantasia Barrino ”Take me to the pilot”—I was really digging this effort by Joshua and then they brought out Fantasia, which I thought was going to turn this into something just amazing. Holy shit was I wrong. Between her screaming and his screaming, this sounded worse than nails on a chalkboard to me. This was actually, really, really painful. This made my ears bleed. I could understand anyone who might have liked this because it was cool seeing Joshua do his thing but the best part of this performance was that the Idol production crew cut it off short and went to that new AT&T commercial with a bunch of songs much better than this. 0/10.

Jimmy’s bloopers— Normally I think these blooper reels are really, really stupid. This really wasn’t an exception but it was kind of funny. A nice break in the music at least. And, yes, I’m going to rate this because I am going to rate everything tonight. F*ck it. 6/10.

Ladies of the top-12 annd Chaka Khan “Ain’t nobody”/ “I’m every woman”— OK, I’m getting a massive crush on Shannon. Time apart sure did something great for me with this girl. Skylar’s effort here, though, was kind of blah and Erika Van Pelt looked like hot garbage. Nice to see her go back to blond but the biggest travesty this season, by far, was whoever dressed Erika. She looked awful all but maybe one performance. As for the second song, Chaka Khan looked like an older, fatter, female version of Mr. Hankie with that ridiculous outfit. Who told her that was a good idea? And she had grannie panties on, to boot. Sad, sad, stuff. I’ll wrap this up by saying I loved seeing Randy dancing to this. It just made a dreadful group number even worse. Too many voices, a cliché song and something I would have fast-forwarded through if I didn’t want to rip it apart here. 3/10.

Ford Music Video— The only good thing about this piece of junk was that it reminded me Jermaine existed which, up until this thing, I had forgotten completely about. 1/10 for shittiness but I’ll bump it up to a 4/10 because I love the moments where they give cars to the “music mentors”. Especially loved the complete lack of a reaction by Phillip. It’s like he was thinking “I’m not driving a piece of crap Ford, even if it is free”. 4/10

Rihanna “Where have you been”— I might have liked this more if I wasn’t still transfixed by Ms. Rihanna’s last performance on this show (California King Bed). That performance was soft, delicate and understated and the music really spoke for itself. I understand that song’s completely different than this, in tone, theme and genre but this felt like one too many things were going on. Rihanna is still stunningly beautiful, even if she did look scary as shit as points here, especially with the Medusa hair, but the overall number felt too much like Lady Gaga for my likings. 4/10.

Skylar Laine “Turn on the radio”— Nice to see Skylar back. Too bad it was for this song. I swear she’s sung this song on this show before. Love the addition of Reba though. Very, very nice touch. For an older—OK, very much older—woman, Reba was looking pretty hot tonight. It’s like past and present came together on the stage, which I guess is what they were trying to do here to establish Skylar as the next Idol country star when she inevitably gets an album. I liked this overall performance because, as Randy and J-Lo said 1,000 times this season, Skylar has a real Reba vibe. It worked well here. I still hate the song but it was entertaining and cool to see Skylar sing with someone she no doubt idolizes. 7/10.

Steven Tyler’s video package— Pretty sure we saw this last year. It sucked then and sucks even more now. It’s like Steven Tyler is determined to kill any and all credibility he has as a rock star. Pathetic and completely unfunny. 1/10.

Jessica Sanchez “I will always love you”— I guess it wouldn’t be an episode of American Idol if Jessica Sanchez didn’t sing Whitney Houston. I half expected a Whitney Houston hologram to jump on the stage and sing with Jessica. As for the song, I said it then and I’ll say it now. This was perfect. Tell me again why Jessica didn’t pull this one out last night? I mean, if she really wanted to highlight that amazing voice of hers, she should’ve pulled this gem out. It really shows how much better she is than Phillip vocally. Glad they brought this one back. One of the season’s biggest highlights, for sure. 8/10.

Guys of the top-12 medley— Hey, it’s Colton Dixon! Remember him? Colton should have been in the finale but he got too comfortable and he paid for it. The show has not missed him, even if his performance of “Everything” is one of my personal favorite moments of the year. As for Heejun, DeAndre and Jeremy, meh. Neither of these three did anything for me this season and seeing this group number, it’s clear they weren’t on the level of Phillip, Joshua and/or Jessica. Oh, and Heejun got fatter. I don’t know what he was doing here, if he was acting of something but I’d say the best part about this medley was the arrival of Mr. Neil Diamond. Not because I love Sweet Caroline (Though it’s grown on me simply because I live in New England and the Red Sox have stolen this as a Fenway anthem so you can’t avoid it living here) but because it was nice to see Neil Diamond is still alive. I had my doubts … and still do after this ho-hum performance. The real question is why Mr. Phil Phillips avoided this one like the plague. Probably because he listened to this group perform it. And, also, has anyone noticed that J-Lo has been gone for about half the show? Either she’s performing tonight or she is busy burying Jimmy’s body in the back parking lot for that blooper package earlier. 3/10.

Randy Jackson “Sing the phone book” crap— I like that Randy said ‘you hear this phrase all the time’ in the inro to this video when, in actuality, he’s the only one that says it. Ever. And he said it all the freaking time this season. Good to see Idol call him out on his crap. And, you know what? I’ve got to tell you, as stupid as this was, this was freaking hilarious. I actually enjoyed this and I normally dread Idol’s attempts at humor. Whoever wrote this skit deserves a pat on the back because this was a genuinely humorous three minutes, especially the ending. 9/10.

Jennifer Lopez “Going In” and “Follow the leader”— Ah, so this is why J-Lo was gone for so long. It’s amazing to see J-Lo on stage again. I remember before she came back to Idol and she was completely irrelevant. What a difference two years makes. Granted, I don’t think she’s back to the place she was pre-Marc Anthony but it’s hard to deny her place as a real star and she showed why here. These songs both sucked ass, completely, 100 percent, but what she brought to the stage in terms of star-power elevated these performances. She just commands the eye and your attention when she’s there and that’s a quality everyone from this class of Idol performers will need to learn. Still, I’m giving this a 3/10 because the knock-off Florida and father of the lead singer of LMFAO brought nothing to the table but a shitty track and a waste of four minutes. 3/10.

Marriage Proposal—I have no idea who these two are but the minute Ryan brought this guy up on stage, I knew he was going to propose. I love the “Dim the lights” touch especially. Was it a great proposal? No. But I can’t exactly critique it because my proposal sucked and this guy had the balls to do it in front of millions of people. Kind of wish she had said no because it would have been amazing. 6/10 (For predicitibility)

Hollie Cavanagh & Jordan Sparks “You’ll never walk alone”— Ah, Ms. Cavanagh. I barely got to know you before you got the boot. I loved Hollie at the beginning of this season but, as it went on, she refused to really show any growth and, let’s face it, she was kind of boring. I get that she wants to be the next Celine but she could be much more entertaining while out there. The addition of Jordan Sparks was a nice touch though. Their voices meshed very, very well together on their mutual high notes. Another natural mix of abilities and, unlike the Joshua and Fantasia crap, this didn’t just sound like useless screaming. Would I listen to it again? No. Was it entertaining? Not really. But I didn’t hate it so, uh, yeah. 6/10.

Top 12 guys Robin Gibb tribute— When Ryan said the top-12 guys (Minus Phillip again for some reason. Perhaps he was throwing up in the back?) were coming out again, I almost verbally yelled at my TV because the last song by these guys as dreadful but, I’ve got to say, this wasn’t too, too bad. Maybe that’s the key here. Keep the guys to slow and soft songs if you’re going to put them together. When Joshua busted out “You don’t know what it’s like”, I really started getting into this. I really, really wish he had done this on the show as a solo performance. That was a great way to close a pretty entertaining medley. 7/10.

Jessica Sanchez and Jennifer Holiday “And I am telling you”— So, it’s nice to see what an older, blacker version of Erika Van Pelt would look like. I kid, I kid. Before I heard Jessica sing this track this year, I had never heard it and I wasn’t a huge fan but this duet was, um, interesting. If I closed my eyes and listened to it on its own, it was pretty good but, like some of Colton Dixon’s performances this season, Jennifer Holiday’s absolutely dreadful fish face made it just about impossible for me to take this seriously. That was, of course, until Holiday’s killer note midway through and Jessica’s INCREDIBLE note at the very end. That was f**king impressive. If I were in the judge’s booth, I would have stood up too. That was AWESOME. What a way to close out a standout duet! 9/10.

Aerosmith “Legendary Child”— Looks like Mr. Tyler wanted to try to bring back something, anything, resembling credibility before this season was over. Aerosmith on stage on Idol? Alrighty then. Good to see Tyler back where he belongs because, let’s be real here, he mailed it in almost this entire season. He was strong during auditions but when the actual competition began? He was just a warm body in the season. Shame too because he, and the band really, can still shred something major. Unlike other old-guy bands who overstayed their welcome (*cough* Stones *cough*), I’d say Aerosmith still has something in the tank. Sure, they’re dated and they look ridiculous but, man, it’s still fun and enjoyable to see these guys do their thing, even if I didn’t really know the song they chose here to start this. Of course, when they busted out “Walk this way”, things got even better. Classic Aerosmith. Just what the finale needed, an extra little kick. I wonder how Randy felt watching both of his fellow judges kill it on the Idol stage while he … read the phone book? 8/10.

Phillip Phillips and Jessica Sanchez “Love lift us up where we belong”—So, after not seeing Phillip for, what, an hour, we get a duet between him and Jessica to close the show? I liked this. I would have liked to see more of these two and their reactions during the show but this was a great idea to really bring a sense of closure to the season. And the best part is it wasn’t absolutely dreadful. The two actually kind of complimented each other vocally. Interesting mix and it got me pumped up for the final reveal which, up to this point, I didn’t really care too much about. 8/10.

The reveal— It looks like Jessica knows she’s about to finish second. If she doesn’t, I’m going to be completely shocked. I’m kind of hoping she wins but I doubt it. So, here, we go … and the winner is ,… PHILLIP PHILLIPS. Wow. I mean, I knew he was going to win this but for a moment, I thought we might get the upset. Jessica was definitely the better talent vocally but it’s hard not to see why America picked Phillip, especially after last night’s killer performance by him on the biggest stage. Nice to see. I hope Phillip Phillip does some big things. He really grew as the year progressed a and watching him lose it during his coronation was something really special. 7/10.

Overall: A great finale (No sarcasm) with a couple of hiccups but a stellar end to a rocky Season 11. Until next year, this is a wrap.

 

Who has never heard "And I Am Telling You?"

 

Someone who hates musicals and listens to a predominant mix of rock and mainstream pop music?

 

THAT SONG WAS ALL OVER POP RADIO WHEN THAT MOVIE CAME OUT.