And so it begins...

That means he'd probably still injured himself at the Old Country Buffet, spraining something while using the tongs

 

Welcome to Wrigley, Lou Piniella

 

Fuck you all. Especially Henry Motherfucking Rowengartner and Chet Burn in Hell Steadman!

 

You know what, Cubs bashers? God has done a mighty fine job making fun of the Cubs for the last 99 years. They don't need you assclowns piling on.

I say again:

FUCK YOU ALL!

 

Rod Beck said it couldn't happen.

But before the year is out Wood or Prior might go on the DL with pulled fat. They've suffered about every other injury known to pitchers.

 

That's my next injury excuse.

"Sorry honey, I can't work in the yard today...I pulled my fat."

 

I don't want to hear it man, I'm a Pirates fan and I've been dealing with a losing team since Barry Bonds' candy-armed throw to the plate against Atlanta!

 

I just pictured a "Everybody Loves Raymond" or "King of Queens" moment where the respective wife grabs a chunk of belly flab, and while twisting it painfully, says "you mean like this?"

 

I saw this on a scroll last night and giggled. As part of his next contract, the Cubs should require a bubble clause, meaning that he has to live in a bubble. A soft, padded bubble.


On a serious note, my mom fell out of the tub last year and cracked some ribs. It could have been much worse.

 

I hate this fucking team.

 

What a surprise: Kerry Wood will start the season on the disabled list after a setback Sunday.

 

Is this live or a "best of" thread?