.... and the horse you rode in on

Better ... but the metaphor is still a bit lost on me.

 

I think if I were "AP Sports Writer" from Seattle, I would have punched the AP cliche' generator button one more time to come up with something a little less confusing, though equally trite.

Perhaps...

SEATTLE (AP) -- The United States Postal Service may want to look into hiring Seattle Seahawks running back Sean Alexander when his football career is over. Because as he proved Monday night, neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, can stop him from delivering when it counts.


(Now excuse me while I go barf.)

 

By I.C. WEINER
The Associated Press

SEATTLE -- Thank God Shaun Alexander is black.
Because if he weren't, nobody at snowy Qwest Field would have seen the person who may have saved the Seattle Seahawks after his heroic 201-yard, 40-carry performance lifted his team to a 34-24 win against the Green Bay Packers on a Lambeau-like Monday night.

No?

 

No.

 

Mystery Meat wins. That was a hella lead!

 

did your fingers bleed when you typed that?

 

I don't understand. Why was he riding a horse?

 

He said that's a second-day story, so the AP's failed the reader right there.

 

I hope Alexander gave that writer a towel to clean himself up following that fellatio fest.

 

It returned Alexander to his league MVP level of 2005 after three months of irrelevance caused by a badly bruised left foot that eventually became broken and caused a seven-week layoff.

the whole thing is a disaster - but using 'caused' twice in one sentence deserves a special mention

 

Isn't "ride the white horse" a euphemism for snorting cocaine? I mean, if you must use a metaphor, find something else that was not so open to interpretation.

How about:

By Novelist Wannabe
AP Sports Writer
Matt Hasselbeck found tough sledding in his return to the Seahawks lineup, but the Packers' defense looked snowblind when Shaun Alexander had the ball.
Rushing 40 times for 201 yards, both career highs, Alexander carried the Seahawks past Green Bay in the first NFL game played in snowy conditions in Seattle.

 

The phrase is, "Fuck you, and the horse you rode in on."