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.... and the horse you rode in on

Discussion in 'Journalism topics only' started by Ace, Nov 28, 2006.

  1. Leo Mazzone

    Leo Mazzone Member

    good call...another reason why I'm not on the cops beat.
     
  2. Double Down

    Double Down Well-Known Member

    I pray to god that is not a half-hearted defense of this AP lede.

    And Bob, I'm not the greatest deadline writer (but again, to point out, this was NOT a deadline story) and I'm not sure I wouldn't crack in some situations that the AP guys breeze through. I still don't give mangled cliches an A for effort. We'll say a C+ for effort and a generous D- for execution.

    Now, that said, I've written my share of forced ledes. Anyone can have a tough day. I don't want to pick on this writer. Almost all my really bad ones, however, were on prep gamers that ran in zoned editions, not NFL stories that ran in papers across the country.
     
  3. fishwrapper

    fishwrapper Active Member

    The over-used phrase or term (which has become quite cliche) is biblical in its etymology.
    And, often, in the last quarter century, it has been even more confused by the Clint Eastwood movie Pale Rider.

    Revelations 1, V 11

    I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True.... He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God. The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean.

    [Yes, I just edited the Bible. In 16 years, never did that before.]
     
  4. Bob Cook

    Bob Cook Active Member

    Oh man, Bible editing. Could be fun.

    God is resting today after spending most of the previous week creating the universe and everything in it, a spokesman said.

    (for broadcast use) Pontius Pilate is asking for your help in deciding whether he should free a robber or a self-declared son of God.

    A man fed multitudes with only five loaves and two fishes, according to witnesses. But culinary experts say such a feat would be impossible, unless the portions were extremely small.
    Witnesses identified the man as Jesus. At a wedding in Cana, guests had credited him with turning water into wine, an accomplishment disputed by oeneologists.

    TRAFFIC ALERT -- road to Calvary expected to be shut down for scheduled march of prisoners carrying crosses.
     
  5. SoSueMe

    SoSueMe Active Member

    And now we turn to Brick for an early look at the weather.

    Thanks Ron. Well, folks. Batton down the hatches, we're in for rain. And lots of it. Radar shows 40 days and 40 nights of the wet stuff. Head for high ground.
     
  6. shotglass

    shotglass Guest

    BY HAYWOOD JABLOME
    Associated Press Writer

    SEATTLE (AP) -- Outlined against a blue, gray November sky the Two Seahawks rode again.

    In dramatic lore they are known as famine and pestilence. These are only aliases. Their real names are: Alexander and Hasselbeck. They formed the crest of the Pacific Northwest cyclone before which another fighting Green Bay team was swept over the precipice last night as 55,000 spectators peered down upon the bewildering panorama spread out upon the green turf below.
     
  7. SoSueMe

    SoSueMe Active Member

    Awesome.

    One thing: No green turf. It was snowing.

    Still, awesome.
     
  8. hardin moose

    hardin moose Member

    I think it set up the rest of the season nicely.
     
  9. Flash

    Flash Guest

    Please. I'm a girl. I've been dreaming about Prince Charming on a horse since last ni ... er ... whatever. Anyway, that was not how the lede read. It was more like the title of the thread and, thus, the analogy was lost ... or nonexistent. Whichever.
     
  10. novelist_wannabe

    novelist_wannabe Well-Known Member

    One problem - you didn't have the final score in the first three graphs :)
     
  11. hacksaw

    hacksaw New Member

    Uh, that was Grantland Rice, not Red Smith.
     
  12. slipshod

    slipshod Member

    As a guy who has to write these things, you're supposed do a good, clever lead in the first version, followed by a much better lead in the optional, then come back and give us something just as good, but a little different for the third damn time you write it.
     
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