attempted assignation

That's what you get when you do it doggie style.

 

This broad actually fantasized about this. Just sick.

 

who let the dogs in?

Who?

 

What's your name?
Barf.
What's your real name?
Barfolomew.

 

Isn't that Newt Gingrich's wife?

 

It's the chick from Long Island Medium

 

Could be.

 

Gretchen Carlson

 

She likes it ruff.

 

A classic:

Three people, two men and a woman, and their dogs are in the vet's waiting room. The first man's dog asked the second man's dog what he's there for. They are putting me down. Oh no, says the first dog, why? The second dog says, "Well, you see... I've been chasing the Postman for years. Yesterday, I finally caught him, and bit him. So, I'm going to be put to sleep. The second dog says, "Well, my master just completely remodeled the inside of his house. I didn't like it because my scent wasn't anywhere, anymore. So, when he went to bed last night, I pissed on everything I could find, to get my scent back. This morning, my master found out what I had done, so he is putting me to sleep also.

The third dog said, "This is my master's new girlfriend. She runs around the house all the time without her clothes. This makes me very horny. So, this morning, as she was getting out of the shower, and bent over to wipe up the water on the floor. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I jumped on her a gave it to her good!" The other dogs say, " so' that's why they are putting you to sleep?" "hell, No," says the dog, "She is bringing me here to get my toenails clipped!"

 

All Dogs Go To Seven Minutes in Heaven?

 

That would be "What's your full name?" And I still think that's one of the best lines from Spaceballs.