Awful ledes

A quote.

The FUCKING WORST.

YOU ARE THE WRITER. WRITE SOMETHING.

 

I'll bet we all have made the mistake of "What a difference a year makes" for a lede. I haven't used it since a hockey recap at my old wire service gig back when I was 24. Just remember cliche ledes are a copout and a lack of original thought according to one style book I read once.

 

This lede has it all: weather talk, typos, repeated phrases, unintentional humor: The Harvey Weinstein Joke That Killed at the Independent Spirit Awards

It was a wet and cold affair at the Independent Spirit Awards on Saturday, where a rainstorm caused the show’s constructed floor—as always, the event was held in Santa Monica, under a giant tent a few feet away from the beach—a rainstorm caused the show’s constructed floor to be drenched with water. Allison Janney mentioned that the train of her dress was soaked, and Timothée Chalamet slipped while talking to the podium. But the weather did not dampen the fun and celebratory mood at the afternoon ceremony, which annually honors indie movies on the eve of the Academy Awards.

 

"It was a dark and stormy day. ... "

 

Crossthreading here ...

Emptiness is loneliness, and loneliness is cleanliness, and cleanliness is godliness, and God is empty, just like thousands of seats for the upcoming Smashing Pumpkins reunion tour. The band has been getting a lot of press lately, thanks to a much-ballyhooed reunion of original members Billy Corgan, James Iha, and Jimmy Chamberlain—and also thanks to a very public feud between Corgan and ex-bassist D’arcy Wretsky, who will not be joining the “Shiny And Oh So Bright” tour featuring all those loud and brooding hits from the angsty heyday of Gish through Machina/The Machines Of God. It’s the kind of thing that makes an old fan of the band excited to pull their moth-eaten “Zero” shirt out of the closet and enjoy an evening out, singing along to songs about how awful the world is and how nobody understands you.

 

This is a phenomenal lede.

 

That story has some form of literary crime in nearly every paragraph. Holy fuck, is that some shameful slop.

 

Agreed.

*bangs gavel*

 

I denounce you both and will hear no more of this nonsense.

 

I hesitate to ask: You know that's a Smashing Pumpkins lyric, right?

 

Well, of course. Too much of a groaner for me.