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Bad candy....no really, candy

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by joe_schmoe, Oct 20, 2008.

  1. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    Who cares what it looks like? Anyway, I was 10, 11 and 12, and I couldn't have told you what "manchowder" was at that point. Like that would stop me now.
     
  2. shotglass

    shotglass Guest

    mikey ... you may want to rephrase that. ;D
     
  3. I Digress

    I Digress Guest

    THAT is one of the funniest things I've ever read! Awesome.
     
  4. Wonderlic

    Wonderlic Member

    :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

    [​IMG]

    Two Tablespoons of cinnamon, and 2 or 3 eggwhites
    Half a stick of butter, meeeelted..
    Stick it all in a bowl baby, Stir it with a wooden spoon
    Mix in a Cup of Flour, you'll be in heaven soon
    Say everybody have you seen my balls?
    They're big and salty and brown
    If you ever need a quick Pick-me-up
    Just stick my balls in your mouth!
    Ooh, suck on my chocolate salty balls,
    Stick em in your mouth and suck em!
    Suck on my Chocolate Salty balls
    they're packed full of vitamins, and good for you,
    So suck on My balls!

    Quarter cup of unsweeted chocolate, and half cup of brandy
    Then throw in a bag or two of sugar, and just a pinch of vanilla
    Grease up the cookiesheet, cos i hate when my balls stick
    Then Preheat the oven to 350, and give that spoon a lick
    Say everybody have you seen my balls?
    They're big and salty and brown
    If you ever need a quick Pick me up
    Just stick my balls in your mouth...
    Suck on my chocolate salty balls
    Stick em in your mouth and suck em!
    Suck on my Chocolate Salty balls
    they're packed full of goodness, high in Fibre
    Suck on My balls!

    [sniff sniff] Hey, wait a minute, what's that smell?
    Smells like something burning
    Well, that don't confront me none
    As long as I get my rent paid on the Friday.
    Baby you'd better get back in the Kitchen..
    Cos i've gotta Sneaking Suspicion..
    Oh man baby, baby! You just burnt my balls!

    Someone help me, my balls are on fire!
    Get some ice baby! My balls are Burning!
    Get some water, pour some water on me!
    My Balls are burning!
    Help me, Blow on em, Blow on em, do something!
    Ooh, suck on my chocolate salty balls
    Stick em in your mouth and suck em!
    Suck on my Chocolate Salty balls
    Put em out baby, Blow em!
    Suck on my balls, baby! Suck on my balls Baby!
    Suck on my red hot, salty, chocolate balls
    Put em out baby, hoo, hoo
    Suck on my balls...

    ;D
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2014
  5. shotglass

    shotglass Guest

    Pete Schweddy: Well, there are lots of great treats this time of year - Zucchini Bread, Fruitcake.. but the thing that I most like to bring out this time of year are my Balls.

    Teri Rialto: Mmm.. Balls.. Tell us about your Balls, Pete.

    Pete Schweddy: Well, over at Season's Eatings, we have Balls for every taste. Popcorn Balls, Cheese Balls, Rum Balls.. you name it.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow! My mouth's watering just thinking about those Balls!

    Teri Rialto: It's been years since I've seen any Balls.

    Pete Schweddy: Would you like to see my Balls now?

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Yeah. Whip them out.

    [ Pete places a tray of Balls on the control board ]

    Teri Rialto: Mmm.. wow.. you have some beautiful Balls..

    Margeret Jo McCullen: They're bigger than I expected.

    Pete Schweddy: A lot of people tell me that.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Look at that, Teri - the way they glisten.

    Pete Schweddy: That's because make sure that each one of my Balls gets plenty of oil.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: I can't help but, notice, Pete - your Balls are a little misshapen.

    Pete Schweddy: That's because I rested them on a hot stove too long.

    Teri Rialto: Can I touch your Balls.

    Pete Schweddy: Go ahead. But be careful, they're very delicate.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow. I can't wait to get my mouth around his Balls.

    Teri Rialto: [ sniffing ] Ooh.. I like the way your Balls smell..

    Pete Schweddy: Do whatever you want to, ladies. My Balls are here for your pleasure.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: [ chewing ] Wow, Pete.. I have to say - your Balls are so tender..

    Pete Schweddy: Well, there's no beating my Balls. They're made from a secret Schweddy Family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy Balls.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow.. Schweddy Balls. Nothing like a Schweddy Ball.

    Teri Rialto: Good Balls.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Mmm.. good times.
     
  6. Slash

    Slash Member

    Anyone ever seen Chick o stick candy? I think it is PB and cocounut, but it looks nasty. Its funny because my dad loved those black and orange-wrapped PB things. I gave mine to him. Circus Peanuts are probably about the only candy I despise, but I dont eat much anymore, except for what the kids dont pick up at Halloween.
     
  7. txsportsscribe

    txsportsscribe Active Member

    aren't those like butterfinger without the chocolate coating?
     
  8. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    Butterfingers don't have any gross coconut in them.

    Real coconut = delicious
    Candied, dried, shredded coconut = yuk
     
  9. txsportsscribe

    txsportsscribe Active Member

    coconut is only acceptable when used in liquid form as a sno-cone favor
     
  10. Ben_Hecht

    Ben_Hecht Active Member


    Mounds.

    As a doughnut garnish.

    Otherwise? Problematic.
     
  11. txsportsscribe

    txsportsscribe Active Member

    mounds, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
     
  12. Batman

    Batman Well-Known Member

    Mounds and Almond Joy.
    Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you just feel like your insides are being turned inside out.
     
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