Bad candy....no really, candy

Anybody ever read the studies about Good & Plenty as an aphrodisiac? I have no idea how anyone discovered it, but that scent is super powerful in a lot of experiments about olfactory response.

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=52375

 

I'd trade my mother for a bag of Candy Corn.

 

That explains all the Thanksgiving sex I hear about.

 

Milk Duds = truth in advertising.

 

Payback for her trading you for those Ho Hos?

 

You're just going to leave that out there?

 

They were Zingers. There's no way I'm worth Ho Hos.

 

The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. And so, since nobody eats that stuff, every year there's a ton of it left over. And the candy corn company sends the guys to the villages and they collect out of the dumpsters all the candy corn we've thrown away. They wash it!! They wash it!

I'll never forget the first time my mother gave me candy corn. She said, "Here - Lewis, this is candy corn. It's corn that tastes like candy". ----- This tastes like crap! And every year since then, Halloween has returned and I, like an Alzhiemer's patient, find myself in the room, and the room has a big table in it, and on the table is a bowl of candy corn. And I look at it as if I've never seen it before. "Candy corn", I think. "Corn that tastes like candy. I can't wait". Son of a bitch!!

 

I guess this explains why BYH finds them neither good nor plentiful.

 

I can't call Mounds or Almond Joy bad candy based on quality, but they're both bad candies to get based on quantity.

Anyone who spends 79 cents-plus to buy a bar of either at a convenience store is a true sucker. Half the packaging is freaking cardboard.

 

You think candy corn is bad?



They're like candy corn, but they're more expensive, taste far worse and you have to unwrap them.

If you eat them, fuck you!

 

Beat me to it. I hate you!