Bad neighbors, part XIV

Call the cops. Tell them you think they're cooking meth downstairs.

 

Can you really "rent" a hooker?

How late are these folks making noise?

Because if it's not too late or too early, then ... um ... that's the consequences of living in an apartment. Sucks, but ..

 

Well, they sure as shit don't operate via lease agreements.

 

Ding ding ding!

We have a winner!

 

ok, I'll give
wtf is a piss puck?

 

Piss into a round, puck-shaped object, freeze solid, remove from mold, slide frozen piss under offenders door. Chances are the neighbors keep the thermostat above 32 degrees (0 to the Maple Leafs) and let nature work it's magic.

 

Wait a second...people live in places in which there's enough room under their door to slide a puck?

Mine touches the ground. Whose doesn't?

 

As a similar method of punishment (and this is gross, maybe I shouldn't even post it), but if you've got a bunch of people over drinking one night, and everyone's peeing, have 'em piss into a bigger container, i.e. perhaps a small trash can or something.

At end of night, lean container containing the stuff against their door. In the morning, the first person to open said door gets a nice bath.

And by nice I mean fucking disgusting.

Method learned during college when my buddy and I did it with water and my RA's door. Good times.

 

Sure ... you expect us all to believe you did it with WATER?

 

I feel so lucky right now that I get along with my neighbors and never hear them through the walls.

In previous apartments I have employed the strategy of cranking the stereo -- usually something I know the noisy neighbors will hate, like Miles Davis' Bitches Brew -- and then leave for a few hours. It seldom made any difference, but it always made me feel better.

 

Try leaving the stereo on while you're not there. It might actually make a difference, then.

 

Ha! Actually, we lived right across the hall, so even if I would have thought of it then, I wouldn't have wanted to deal with that stench on the already-nasty dorm carpet.