Bears vs. Colts: Super Bowl XLI running thread

Chalky Chalk, are you crowing?

 

Vinatieri's fifth SB... he has to be in rarefied air.

Maybe Charles Haley and Matt Millen pulled that off.

 

I love this stream of consciousness from the mind of Sexy Rexy:


Is that Berrian? I think he's triple-covered. You know what? Fuck it. I'm throwing it downfield.

Yeah, I see Jones open on the flank. But fuck that. Dumpoff passes are for faggots. I'm fucking Sexy Rexy Grossman. I can get that ball in there. And, even if I can't, I bet I'll be able to pull it off the next go round. I like throwing the ball long. It makes my dick hard.

What's that? I should throw a quick slant? Fuck that. That's gay. Button hook? Gay. Flare out? Gay. Screen pass? Kevin Spacey gay. This is fucking football. You can't just expect wins to come to you. You can't massage that shit. You gotta grab that game by the throat and rape the ever-loving shit out of it. You think a 5-yard out is gonna win you a game? You're a pussy. This ain't John Shoop running this offense. Sexy Rexy's got the arm. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon.

Okay, I'm throwing it. Nice. Look how far it went. I look good. I bet I made that Pats cheerleader wet her panties with that throw. She fucking wants me. I bet she likes it over a stair railing. I can hit that with 100% accuracy, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.

Oh shit. Looks like Samuel caught it. Again. Oh well. It still felt fucking great to throw that shit. Tell me that wasn't one of the prettiest passes you ever saw. You know what? Not only am I gonna throw it long the next time we hit the field. I'm gonna throw it even longer. Harder. You see that kid in wheelchair sitting in the end zone bleachers? I'm gonna nail him right between the fucking eyes with a Sexy Rexy fastball. Why? Because I can.

This is Rex Grossman we're talking about here. We're talking 210 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal. I'm not just a gunslinger. I'm a cumslinger. Throwing that ball long tells all the Rexettes that I am fucking out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I'll tease them with a pretty touch pass every now and again. But then I'm gonna go right back to pumping that ball out for all it's worth. It tells them I throw like I fuck. That's how we do things in the sexy business.

Tell me you're not turned on right now. I am.

 

People in Chicago are already trying to compare this Bears team to the Super Bowl XX team. But a better comparison would be the Ravens' Super Bowl winner. Great defense, great running game and a horseshit quarterback who does just enough to not get his team beat.

All we heard in the day leading up to that game was that you couldn't win a Super Bowl with Trent Dilfer at quarterback. I imagine we'll hear the same thing about Rex Grossman for two weeks. Then the Bears will go out and win 46-3 and the story will be that Grossman knows how to manage a game.

 

Armchair - That's wrong. Grossman has had some bad games, but he's had some terrific ones, too. People are so locked into the Kyle Orton Bears, and the Jim Miller/Shane Matthews Bears that preceded those Bears, then they see Grossman have a couple bad games and they just assume that it's the same old, same old. It's easier that way.

Grossman can win games. He was the reason they got past Seattle. This isn't the Ravens, who were painful to watch. Or the NFL version of Pat Riley's Knicks teams. The Bears don't try to "hide" Grossman, no matter what the announcers were saying yesterday. They just know he's capable of colossal stupidity at times.

 

I know it's wrong. That's my point. But we all know that the "experts" will go on and on about how the Bears can't win with Grossman at QB. Which is bullshit because they've managed to win 15 of their 18 games with him at QB so far this year.

But it's also wrong to compare this Bears team to THAT Bears team. The Ravens are a better comparison, even though Grossman's a better QB than Dilfer.

 

The only people trying to do this are media dopes who can't let go of the 85 glory, and want to recreate that hysteria. Won't happen....these Bears are a completely unexpected delight...an unknown garage band with a breakout platinum album....but they'll be one of the most forgettable championship teams in Super Bowl history.

 

I know. A case could be made that the '85 team was the last truly colorful Super Bowl champion.

 

Oh, I see the bandwagon jumpers are back again.

Anyone who's been jumping on the anti-Rex bandwagon the last couple of weeks probably shouldn't be saying what comparisons to what teams should be made.

If you can't tell the difference between meaningful regular season games -- aka BEFORE the clinching of home field -- and the meaningless regular season games, then it's best to make no comparison.

 

When I was looking for those Poppy Montgomery photos, I came across a link to a story about Johnny Depp. The headline said:

Johnny Shivers His Kids (sic) Timbers

Not a porn site, either.

 

Says the guy who thinks Arkansas' college football team was terrible because of a Week 1 loss.

 

Man, you are dumb. Yeah, saying a team shouldn't be in the top 5 is the same as saying they are terrible.

By the way, this is an NFL thread. Do you know what the NFL is?