Being looked at as sports fountains of knowledge

If most of us got only a small slice of the bar bets we settle on the phone, we could actually afford decent lives. Some publishers and newspaper execs would probably want in on the action.

 

Fun game: When they call asking which of two propositions is true, tell the first guy one thing and then, when he puts his buddy on the phone, tell him the other.

 

"Why's he calling me Meat when I'm the one driving a Porsche?"

 

Gotta love those guys who call from the bar to settle a bet. Of course, you put them on hold for 10-15 minutes and they're still there when you return. Amazing.

Bars should have internet access

 

It can be annoying, but take it as a compliment. Plus, it's human nature to try to find common ground. People assume you're a huge sports buff, which we all are in a way, but in a much more level-headed way that others have trouble relating to.

 

I love it too when they call and say "Hey Sports?" as if that's my name.

 

I love it when somebody asks my opinion about something and although I'm reluctant to do so, I share my thoughts. Then they proceed to tell me I'm wrong. I want to say, "Well, then why the hell did you ask me? So you could argue with me? Go away."

 

Isn't it?

 

I've got the perfect answer to all the questions:

"I don't give a shit."

 

Pop a Top in Yuma, Ariz., had a computer just for that reason. They had too many near bar fights because of B.S. sports bets.

Owner didn't want to throw the guys out because he needed the money. Bought a computer and .... rest is history.

 

Why can't it be both?

A metaphor, good or bad, is of the person's choosing. If he wanted to say "a burrito of knowledge," who'd care?

 

My friends call me Scoop, which is annoying as fuck. I think you know why.