Ben Carson: Bungling Surgeon

Putin announces Republican presidential campaign

WASHINGTON D.C.— Responding to popularity among conservative pundits and on social media,
Russian President Vladimir Putin announced he will run for the Republican presidential nomination.

“Your candidates are weak,” declared Putin, whose late arrival to the race did not prevent him from
surging to the top of the polls.

“I will fix your mess,” said Putin between shots of vodka. “I will beat your problems into submission.”

Putin announces Republican presidential campaign

 

No surprise. Republicans have been raving nonstop how much they love Putin since, oh, about Jan. 21, 2009.

 

I'm not a fan of either of them but I bet the Cruz campaign will be a lot better at getting their troops out to vote in Iowa and New Hampshire. Praise the Lord and pass the ballot and all that happy hoosegaw....

 

Have we had this one yet?

"We have to see Bill Gates and a lot of different people that really understand what's happening.

“We have to talk to them about, maybe in certain areas, closing that internet up in some ways. Somebody will say, 'Oh freedom of speech, freedom of speech.' These are foolish people."

Donald Trump wants to ban the internet, will ask Bill Gates to ‘close it up’

 

We are getting very close to filling out that bingo card, very close.

 

The best part about the Trump campaign is that there are two news cycles dominated every time he opens his yapper. First comes the story of what he said, which dominates cycle No. 1. Then cycle No. 2 is dominated by his refusal to back down: "Trump doubles down on McCain criticism!"

There is this weird expectation that he's supposed to apologize.

 

If Trump had apologized for the McCain comments (or the comments about Bush's wife, or basically any other of his comments, but let's focus on the McCain one, since it was so early on) his campaign would be over.

The press would have pounced, and he would have looked "weak", when the only thing he has going for him is looking "strong" and saying what is not "politically correct".

Instead, he's pushed back agains the media, and the media embarrassed themselves in response to every Trump statement.

 

I would swear he has a regularly scheduled 7:03 call-in to George Stephanopolous on Good Morning America. He comes on pretty often just as I'm putting my coat on.

 

That's no way to run a country, and Trump knows it.

I think he wants out.

 

I think that he wouldn't mind winning, but I think he's also enjoying fucking with people.