Best co-worker gift ... ever.

I once took a rock out of my backyard, wrapped it up in a box, and gave it as a white elephant gift.

That was a fun Christmas party.

 

We did a secret Santa at the office one year and there was this particularly dim and dense woman who thought she was a god's gift to MENSA. The constant refrain in the office was "Wanda, get a fucking clue". So I bought her the board game 'Clue'. True to form, when she opened it in front of 30 laughing co-workers she promptly said, with a staright face. "I don't get it."

 

A very special lady in my life also bought me the Dwight K. Schrute bobble and I have it proudly displayed. A very nice gesture.

 

I bet Charlie Brown ended up with it.

 

Nope, one of our secretaries did. But the "gift" did result in a change in our White Elephant rules because said secretary bitched and moaned about the fact people would bring gag gifts like an "auto john", used false eyelashes and, the piece de resistance, my rock. The next year we had to bring a new gift worth between $5 and $10.

I can't tell you how much I enjoyed the fact that the same secretary wound up with the brand new box of drywalls screws I brought as my gift. Just $5.99 at Wal-Mart.

We don't do a White Elephant exchange anymore. I'm so proud.

 

I had a good friend who was also my manager one summer in college while working at a pizza place back home. He finally had bought a new car and got a personalized license plate reading "DRK PHNX" because it was a jet-black car.

We bought him the biggest, blackest dildo we could find and affixed a piece of masking tape with "DRK PHNX" to the base and gave it to him as an anniversary present. The sight of him chasing one of the other managers out the back door while waving this huge dildo will be one I shall never, ever forget.