Beware, Trentonian offering jobs that don't exist

Frank,

My special daddy wanted me to thank you for obeying his orders by helping change the topic from mockery of him and Journal Register Company to a harmless discussion of internet newspapers and circulation figures. My lovely, lovely daddy always told me that you were a great double agent and once again you are proving your worth to my dear family and my special daddy's company.

My daddy says that your bonus check is in the mail. Also he asked if you could please drench your neck and wrists in your Old Spice Whitewater colgne before you come over for your Valentine's Day Eve rendevous with him on Tuesday night.

Now my special daddy wants all of you to go back to discussing internet newspapers.

 

More Reasons Not To Work For JRC

* No heat in the building on the two coldest days of the year

* No hot water in the bathrooms (it does wake you up when you immerse your hands in the cold stream, however)

* An asbestos-like substance in the floor tiles

 

Oh, stop. An asbestos-like substance? Now you're just being ridiculous.

 

He said if I came over, the person impersonating his son would blow me. Before you blew the dog.

I just happen to think the JRC bashing would be more credible if we stuck to the facts rather than making up ridiculous stuff. As you seem to be reading-impaired, go back and read again, sloooooowly. Like they taught you at Yale.

 

JRC removed the asbestos from one newsroom floor less than five years ago, and made employees work from an adjacent room while they were doing it.

 

Would I make this stuff up? Absolutely not. Call the paper and ask what's going on.

 

Reasons To Not Work For JRC​

Reason No. 3: Stringers for The Trentonian are paid only $35 for a story no matter the significance or how long the event they covered. This includes events like college football, where the game alone can be three hours long. If you also include the time a stringer must arrive before the start of the game and the time it takes to conduct interviews and write an article, this $35 per story is either barely at or under minimum wage. Translation: Unless a stringer is covering an event for multiple publications or media outlets at the same time, this person will lose money as a JRC stringer.

 

Employee bathrooms are BYOTP.

(You could use return copies of yesterday's paper, I suppose.)

Hand towels, soap? Haven't seen 'em for months.

 

I got to thinking about this place tonight because the Grammys were on TV. Even though it wasn't the Grammys that got the Trentonian's old city editor canned (it was the Emmys), it still brings backs memories any time there's ever a big red carpet-type awards show.
The old city editor, a Harvard graduate, who never ceased to weave that bit of information into the most idle of conversation, forgot to put it in the paper. I take that back. He didn't forget. He first would've had to have been aware that such an awards show existed. Of course his excuse was 'nobody told me the Emmys were on.' We might've had some advance article it in that day's paper, but come to think of it, it was the Trentonian, so we probably didn't.
His only other help that night on desk was another copy editor, who I can assure you had no fucking clue what the Emmys were and even if he had, wouldn't have had the sense to realize that it was newsworthy.
The corporate dickbags down the road were apoplectic the next day. It's funny, because the managing editor didn't give much of a shit. If it were his call, he certainly wouldn't have fired Harvard since we were so short-staffed anyway. I definitely didn't wanna see him go. Harvard, though utterly useless as an editor, was a constant source of entertainment. His cursing jags were legendary. "COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKING USELESS PIECE OF SHIT, I HOPE YOU DIE." You never knew what he was talking about. It could've been an Ann Coulter column, it could've been a reporter's unedited copy, he could've been referring to his wife. But you could expect that about six or seven times a week out of the blue.
The next day, Harvard showed up for his shift around five and was out the building 15 minutes later minus a job. In this instance, it's pretty difficult not to side with JRC. It was the Emmys for Chrissakes.
I wouldn't go back to this rag in a millions years, or work for any other JRC-owned paper. But the Trentonian was, to say the least, an interesting experience. I guess you have to have a sense of humor about the whole thing.

 

He was a Presbyterian minister, too.

 

Reasons To Not Work For JRC​

Reason No. 4: Bob's compensation package in 1997 included a $825,000 salary and $10.3 million bonus ($5.685 million in stock and $4.652 million in cash). Since that year Bob's salary has approached $1,000,000 and he continues to receive stock and cash bonus packages. JRC employees receive zero bonuses (not $100, not $50, not $1) and the standard JRC raise, for the few employees who actually get raises, is typically between .06% and 1.8%. Translation: Bob enjoys playing a game to see which will financially destroy an employee first: JRC or standard inflation.

 

Where do I send my application, again?