Bill Simmons and Holy Cross

Four pages and counting bitch!

Still mad that I turned down your BBQ invite on steak and BJ day?

 

Moderbutt invited you over for steak and a blow ... never mind. I don't want to know.

 

My Holy Cross contribution? Ralph Willard looks like a vampire's manservent.



That is all.

 

I went to Holy Cross, and attended during (arguably) the four worst years in the school's athletic history (94-98). And you know what? I'm OK with that. I'm glad they brought back basketball scholarships (in the fall of '98), and it's been fun to watch Willard's teams do so well the last seven years. But the older I get, the more I take pride in the graduation rates and the fact that a lot of these athletes are going to law school, med school, Wall St., etc.

It's an educational institution, first and foremost. I don't need a Sweet 16 appearance to validate my school's existence, and I sure as hell don't need a Division 1-AA football playoff berth, given how outrageously expensive those programs are (the Globe had some shocking numbers about how much money the UMass-Amherst football team was losing back in December).

The students who'll graduate this year got to experience two Patriot League finals on their home court, one more at Bucknell -- all three games on ESPN2. They also got to see their hockey team pull off one of the greatest upsets in the history of college sports last year. They saw the women's basketball team win a couple of league titles and make the NCAAs. And this year, they even saw a pretty decent football team acquit itself well in a league that's gotten a lot better and a lot deeper. That's not a bad resume, given the size and the philosophy of the school. It's not a powerhouse in any sport, nor should it be. I'll take the underdog role in Division 1 any day.

 

Paul Konerko may have been born in Providence (I don't know) but he graduated from high school in Arizona, at which point he was drafted by the Dodgers.

That makes him from Arizona in my book.

 

In that case, Jeff Gordon's from Indiana. Just saying.

 

St. Anselm's could beat each one of these schools mentioned by 20 six days a week and by 40 on Sundays.

As far as HC downgrading athletics, in the grand scheme of things, it was the right move. Look at a school like Providence, which it's fair to say is treading water in many sports in the Big East and had to drop one of its tradition-laden programs (baseball) because of cash woes.

 

John McDonald weeps.

 

Parking needs validated. Schools don't. Quality of academics really doesn't apply to discussion of modern-day collegiate sports. Do you realize this is a sports-centered message board ?

 

Did you even read what he said? God you are an ass. Must be those West Virginia genes.

 

Dear ESPN Suits:

What percentage of the national reading audience does not give a sizzling slippery shit about Holy Cross athletics?

a) 99 percent

b) 99.5 percent

c) 99.7 percent

d) 99.99999999998 percent.

Please research and get back to us. Do you let Mail-It-In-Boy write columns on any fucking thing he wants to??