Billy Packer............

... snorted Keith Richards' ashes.

 

...... could manage the Cubs to a World Series title.

 

......ready (by force) for retirement

He's always awful but he wasevenmoreso last night. The jerking off over Oden was tooo much.

 

... Beat Birdscribe at Jeopardy.

 

Doesn't everybody?

 

... was awfully lucky Bones McKinney reined him in some at Wake Forest.

 

... Is hung like a shetland pony.

 

...goes to bullfights on acid

 

.... is not a columnist. He's just a reporter who writes long.

 

... stopped the presses.

 

... has a better word for all of them.

 

...is so fucking fired

(we wish)