Buy nothing but food for a month: Could you do it?

Unfortunately, I'm not a buzz-cut guy. It would save me about 8 bucks a week, so I wish I was.

However, I am currently sporting a buzz cut because I challenged my guys to raise a certain amount for charity. And, of course, they did -- on a fucking technicality. Still bitter about that.

 

Library cards are the best, especially now that they also let you take out DVDs. It's rare when I have under 3-4 things out from my library, from books, audiobooks and DVDs.

I just moved and pitched a lot of stuff in the move. I'm comfortable but not living large and trying to save, so I go to the occasional movie. But I'm a homebody. When you're a homebody who is single, childless, likes to cook and enjoys a quiet night in more often than not, it's easy to not have a lot of crazy expenditures.

 

I'm sure he built his own bread machine, too.

(Full disclosure: Bread-machine bread is delicious!)

 

I just know if I tried it it would wind up being the one month I had a reason to buy a condom.

 

That same guy makes his own condoms, too.

 

I'm too squeamish to slaughter the lambs.

 

Wait a second. Didn't you just refer to being single in the past tense?

 

Yep, wife and I did it many times when I was unemployed. Rent, bills, food, gas in her car. Even cut off the cable (but kept the internet because she needed it for work). That was it. I rediscovered the library, with its free books and DVDs, for entertainment.

 

Bread machine bread is indeed delicious. It is so delicious my wife and I got rid of ours after we each gained like five pounds in one winter month a few years ago.

 

Sometimes you have to bend the truth in service of the joke.

 

Of what?

 

Could do this, and do, pretty easily.