Caddyshack

You owe me one gumball machine!

 

License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote.

 

How'd you like to mow my lawn?

 

This stuff is great.

This is a hybrid. This is a cross of Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed bent, and Northern California Sensamia. The amazing stuff about this is you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home, and just get stoned to the bejeezus belt that night on the stuff.

 

Judge Smails: Spaulding, get dressed you're playing golf.
Spalding Smails: No I'm not grandpa I'm playing tennis.
Judge Smails: You're playing golf and you're going to like it.
Spalding Smails: What about my asthma?
Judge Smails: I'll give you asthma.

 

So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort." And he says, "There won't be any money. But when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

 

CANNON BALL!

 

You're a good egg, Noonan. She needs you. Pick up that Kleenex.

 

You shave your ass!

 

Hey honey, I bet you were really something back before electricity.

 

How'd you like to earn $14 the hard way?

 

Elihu, will you come loofah my stretch marks?