Charlize Theron -- Esquire's Sexiest for 2007

Very true....

Loved her go in GalaxyQuest.

Still.... I'm stunned she's 58.

 

I was thinking the same thing.

It also looks like she didn't spend hours under the scalpel either.

 

Heigl has a massive Jackie Kennedy performance in her at some point in her career.

 

Always liked her, a lot.

I have a about as much chance at her as a slow white guy does playing DB for the Giants...

Oh, wait.

 

I don't think it's stupid at all. In fact, I think it's totally reasonable. Sexiness, by definition, isn't just about curves unless the panel judging is a group of 20-year-old Sigma Nus with a case of Miller Lite. Sexy is curves, yes, but it's also brains and talent and grace and that unexpected moment when she does something simple that takes your breath away. Funny can be sexy, and sad, at times, can be too. Andy Langer, the music editor at Esquire, wrote a short, clever essay a few months ago where he theorized that the sexiness of a woman is inversely related to how hard she tries to be "sexy." Lucinda Williams and Patti Griffin, he wrote, are sexy and sultry without trying, whereas listening to Jessica Simpson or Britney Spears try to sound "sexy" is the exact opposite of sexy.

Alba can be sexy, without question, but she's lacking that je ne sais quoi that Scarlett has.

Imagine Scarlett in a hotel room smoking a cigar, drinking scotch, and listening to Whisketown records with nothing but a t-shirt on.

Now try to imagine Alba doing it. Alba would be choking on the scotch, bitching about the smoke, and wondering aloud if the bedsheets were properly sanitized. After a few minutes, she'd want to put on Justin Timberlake.

Scarlett, Charlize, Jolie -- they're all comfortable in their own skin. That counts for something extra.

That line of reasoning is part of the reason why the chorus that shouts "oh-my-god! Sarah Jessica Parker is so butt ugly!" annoys me to no end. Horse face jokes, Maxim? How clever. It is possible to be sexy if you have a unusual face and unique nose. Parker could have gone the Ashlee Simpson route and had plastic surgery 20 years ago, and she instead chose to work with what God gave her. That's admirable. That's sexy. The fact that she looks like a normal 40-year-old woman is hardly cause for mockery. It's kind of cool, actually. But it's more fun, I guess, to pound salami to wrinkled Alba still photos in the bathroom stalls of Maxim and make horse-face jokes about Parker.

 

Brilliant screed.

 

Another example of why Double Down is the most underrated poster on the board.

I'll say this about Esquire sexiest woman: They've never picked one that I'd have issues with my boyfriend lusting after. There's more to all of them than just their bodies.

 

Not a great picture of her. Beautiful woman, but she is definitely one that looks great in one shot, not so great in another. Why is it some women are like that and others (say, Alba) are every bit as hot at all times?

 

Well put, DD.

And Sarah Jessica Parker is sexy as hell. She isn't classically beautiful, but she's very sexy.

 

When I was reading this thread and saw the Uma pic I thought the post was going to be about her place on the not sexy list. That is one of the worst pictures I've seen of her, but I just don't think she's very attractive.

Yes, she's a tall and thin and blonde. But to me she's close to the Sarah Jessica Parker and Sandra Oh category.

 

While I fully agree with the essence of DD's screed, I found the scenario quoted above to be a stretch. I can just as easily imagine Scarlett choking on the scotch, bitching about the smoke, and wondering aloud if the bedsheets were properly sanitized.

In fact, given her personal history, I'd wager Johansson would probably be more inclined to demand to hear something by Justin Timberlake. At least Alba's never appeared in his videos, nor has she been romantically linked to the twink.

http://thesuperficial.com/2007/01/scarlett_johansson_breaks_up_j.php

 

I can find SJP unsexy for reasons beyond her looks. I can find her unsexy for her voice. I can find her unsexy for her clothing. She seems kind enough, but definitely not sexy to me. And to say I'm basing that solely on her horse countenance is insulting to me.