Cheating on my barber

I've been going to the same place for about a year now because they have guys' nights where the cut is only nine bucks. Before that, I went to the same SuperCuts for about two years but it was never out of loyalty, just out of convenience.

Of course, it's hard to mess my hair cut up. I tell them all I want a No. 1 clipper all the way around, no sideburns, no tail, chop it all off. Takes about six minutes and I know I could do it myself but I just don't feel like it.

 

Damn. Oh well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

I go to a place here (tho I think it's a chain) called Sports Cuts. I don't have to tell them how to cut my hair because they keep track on computer what I get, and each chair has a TV in front of it with ESPN on. Even get a free massage (no happy ending) afterwards as part of the deal but I never opt for it. Just seems... creepy.

Plus, good-looking girls doing the cutting. Bonus.

 

I have a free coupon for a cut at the local Sports Clips I'm considering doing, but my sense of guilt to my guy (who I've been going to for about, oh, 25 years), is overwhelming.

I mean, it'll only happen once. Or will it? hmmmmm

 

I've been going to the same barber for 10 years and. I get my hair cut every two weeks. He's the only guy in town who cuts it how I like it and he doesn't even have to ask, he knows I get the same thing every time. I always look forward to going in there because there's almost always someone in there I know that I haven seen in a while. Took my roommate there one time - he usually goes to SuperCuts - said he'd liked the barbe cut better, but felt like he was cheating on his friend at SuperCuts, so he still goes there.

 

For the most part, I'm a brand slut. I have next to zero loyalty to any specific brand.

However, there is one barber shop I almost always go to. I've gone to this same barber shop since I was a little boy, although there have been times when I've gone somewhere else. I usually always come back to the same barber shop, however. Incidentally, both my dads also go there, and my paternal step-grandfather went there.

We all went there consistently before we realized that was the place we all went to for haircuts.

The only caveat is that my grandfather and both fathers have specific barbers they go to, or went to in my grandfather's case. Me? I go to whomever's available.

I guess I'm a barber slut too.

 

I tried switching to a place that was closer to work, but they always hassled me about calling first. That ticked me off. It's a barber shop, not a beauty salon. I want to be able to walk in unannounced.
Now I go back to the place I've been using for a long time. I know the two guys who own the place. I play poker with them a few times a year.

 

My mom owns a salon and she always seemed to be a little bothered when a regular customer stopped coming in and went to another place. She never sounded personally insulted or anything; I think she really just wanted to know why they changed. ...

As for me, my mom cut my hair my whole life until I moved too far away to wait for her, but she always commented on my good and, especially, bad haircuts. I finally found a barber I liked here but eventually bought a clipper and started doing it myself. I've been doing that for about six years and whenever I see my old barber, I feel a little weird.

 

The thing about cheating on your barber is it is so obvious. Not like you are a Pepsi fan sneaking a coke. The Pepsi truck driver will never know.

But with the barber, he knows his work. He knows he hasn't seen you in 8 weeks, not four, and that something isn't right. There's that awkwardness of "hey, I wasn't good enough for you four weeks ago", which is scary because you don't want to have social awkwardness with anyone holding scissors or a dangerous amount of talcum powder.

Even the sneakiest barber move can ruin your day, week or month. Accidently buzzing off an eyebrow, poking you in the eye with the scissors, deliberately not putting the comb in barbasol despite previous customer with lice, or not puting the neckcloth on correctly. That neckcloth is too loose and you are fucked. Tiny little hairs poking your body for the rest of the day. Only defense is to wash the shirt. And then what if it is your last clean shirt? Now you have to potentially find quarters and do laundry. But you are out of soap, so you gotta go to the grocery store and buy some while wearing your itchy shirt --- all because you showed no barber loyalty.

This is why I don't get any particular barber excited with loyalty. Great Clips, Fantastic Sams, or BoRics. Whichever places has the better combination of coupons/short lines.

 

I live a simple life and don't worry about this kind of stuff.

Plus, I have a pronounced dorsal crest, fauxhawk, whatever you want to call it.

And I have yet to find a barber who can cut it in such a way that it doesn't need to be cut again in about three weeks.

So, I just let it grow that way.

I'm mocked at work, but while they're focusing on my hair, chances are that they won't see the soup stain in an awkward location on my pants.

 

As for brand loyalty, I have little.
I wear Chuck Taylor's and Levi's.
When I'm not trying to quit, I smoke Winstons, about a pack a week.
My bourbon is Wild Turkey, although I change it up on occassion.
I keep Sierra Nevada and Tecate in the house as a general rule, but I change that up once in a while.
I like Ben & Jerry's, but don't eat it often.
When I'm visiting back East, I eat a buttload of Herr's Old Bay chips.
I always have a lot of different hot sauces in the house, but I always have Tabasco and Tapatio.