Chess

Man, you used a version of that line on me back in early 2004, when you started a thread where only those who had just had sex could post.

 

I just lost to someone who was 0-8 before playing me. Yeah, I suck that bad.

 

I know how you feel. When I tried to play for a while, I felt like every move I made even the 0-8 guys were like, "Sucker!" I'm going to pick it up again when I actually have time to put into it and memorize openings, patterns, etc., etc.

 

I won a middle school chess tournament, when I was in college

I kid, I kid.

I did win a tournament when I was in middle school. I got marginally better over the years after not playing for a while. I'm down for a game if anyone really wants to play.

 

I was in chess club in high school, and was about No. 8 player my senior year.

One Saturday afternoon, I got a call from the advisor. Three of the higher-ranked players couldn't make a tournament at a nearby academy, and he needed a fifth chair -- me.

I played just one match, and won. The kid playing me sat at the table and cried for 10 minutes after the match, which rather amused me, I must admit. So I'm 1-0 career in high school competition.

Rusty, the best place to start, I think, is get yourself a 4-5 move opening that will get you a concentration of power in the middle of the board. Remember ... it's much preferable to attack in the middle than out at the far sides.

You get that opening down, then go from there by trying to think at least one move ahead. Think your move, and then picture each way it could be answered by your opponent.

 

And Jethro probably hasn't had sex since.

Well, if you don't count small barnyard animals.

 

I never really understood how to play chess until this video was released:

 

If you get Windows Vista, the chess game it comes with lets you undo moves all the way back.
Obviously you wouldn't get Vista just for that, but I've found myself playing chess a lot and, as was said earlier, the undo really helps you learn.

 

Cool, I didn't know Vista came with this. Thanks, Okie.

 

At MassMOCA about 6 years ago, I entered my only chess tournament. I posted something here a few months ago. I believe Bubbler laughed when I wrote about beating the crap out of a punk-ass 10-year-old, who smirked at some of my moves until I check-mated his prepubescent ass and made him run to daddy and cry. Goddamn, that felt good. I was 28 at the time. Then I lost to a 25-year-old woman who was candy on the eyes, and thus my attention was diverted as she took my queen on the 7th or 8th move. With a pawn. But I kicked that 10-year-old's ass good!

 

So you can say that I engage in bestiality but I can't point out that you've been divorced a number of times because of spousal abuse? Is that how it works?

 

That's typical of Jethro --conveniently leaves out his original slimeball post about me and bus stations.

You have the ethics of a cockroach and the integrity of a storm trooper.

Go back to your little blog, you pathetic sack of shit.