Childhood misunderstandings

I thought Spanish coffee was the same thing as Cafe au Lait (ole)

 

My grandmother used to tell us in Italian to shut our mouths. Since she mostly said it during dinners or when there were guests, I thought it was a salutation you say during a toast.

 

Well ... again ... I was positive the lyric was "looking for a lover who won't blow my brother, she's so hard to find."

 

I thought getting mugged meant someone punched you in the stomach with a coffee mug and then took your wallet while you were doubled over.

 

Well, I mean, it might.

 

I was a precocious reader and at age 12 took "Little Big Man" out of the library. Could not figure out exactly what a "woar-house" was (my pronunciation) but assumed it was similar to a warehouse. Not sure why women were always waving out of the second floor window. I think I assumed that that was where the break room was.

 

It took me a long time to realize there isn't a character in "The Catcher in the Rye" named Fo-ebb. I mean, Phoebe? Look at that combination of letters and tell me that makes sense.

 

At some point in 1980 I asked my parents why it was such a big deal that there was a Circus in Iran. I mean, is a circus important enough to interrupt The Dukes of Hazzard?

 

I read all of Leon Uris' "Trinity" with one of the main characters as "See-mus'. Don't even start me on Siobhan.

 

Edited to add: I somehow knew that I should not ask my parents what it meant.

 

My kids think McDonald’s restaurants are owned by the guy in Old MacDonald Had a Farm.