Childhood misunderstandings

I've had the opposite problem with French place names in America. Like Montpelier, Vermont.

 

I have a friend who broke up with a girl because she said that owls couldn't fly. They were driving and arguing about it. He dumped her when he dropped her off.

 

Oh, come on. Those fuckers fly?

 

It's ver-JENS not ver-JENNIES.

 

Weirgen will suffice too.

 

How long were they dating before he discovered she was a moron?

 

A few months. Long enough so that I had already endured his usual conversations about her being "the one."

She was a teacher, believe it or not. Hot though.

 

I was in my 20s before I realized that the band Haulin' Oats was actually two dudes named Hall and Oates.

 

I used to think the supermarket Safeway was a safe place to go if you were in trouble.

 

When kids on the bus were talking about pussy, I was wondering why they were talking about cats.

 

I thought the fear song, beef baloney, was really beefaroni until I was about 25.

When I was about 10, and just getting into hockey, I thought Mario Lemiuex’s name was pronounce Lem-u-x because I had never heard it aloud. My sister, who was taking French in high school, filled me in on him and about 20 other hockey players names.

My freshman year in high school, I couldn’t understand why a large number of the senior girls wore heavy orange makeup since I had apparently seen anyone who had been to a tanning bed.

I was under the impression, my family was related to John Belushi based off a misunderstood conversation. When an older cousin with funky hair came to a family gathering and started making everyone laugh, I went up asked him if he was Belushi.

 

I knew a girl in college who thought Canada was actually a part of the United States.

Yes, I wondered how the hell she ever graduated from high school.