Chocolate Wonderfall

maybe if it was fluffy and pink

 

That would be a rude awakening; you expect a certain texture.

 

IT SCRATCHES MY THROAT LIKE PRISON RAPE AND TORMENT.

Actually, I haven't had cotton candy since I was a kid. Never will. It's worse than chocolate milk.

 

I LOVE CHOCOLATE MILK WHO ARE YOU YOU DEVIL?

 

CHOCOLATE MILK TASTES LIKE ANAL SEEPAGE!

(But oddly enough, I really like chocolate ice cream)

 

Golden Corral is the top-grossing restaurant in my southern state.

 

Why do you know what anal seepage tastes like?

 

No lie, my cousin is in that commercial.

 

I've had chocolate milk. That's how.

 

My parents love buffets.

I was in my hometown to run a half-marathon with my wife. Parents offered to take us out the night before. They wanted to go to Cici's. We didn't stop them but probably should have.

Suffice to say, I developed the worst case of heartburn in my life around Mile 5 of the half marathon the next day. I may never be able to eat there again.

The last time I ate at Golden Corral was during a bachelor's party. My buddy puked in the parking lot before the meal yet somehow managed to hold it together while devouring four plates of food. It was a legendary performance.

My wife finds buffets disgusting, mainly because too many awful parents don't watch their stupid, fat kids. And those stupid, fat kids like to stick their grubby hands in everything.

 

This graf wins awards.

 

Sounds about right. And I ain't talking about how much money it makes.
My wife compared her one trip to Golden Corral to eating from a cattle trough. Every time the restaurant is mentioned, she makes a "moo" sound.