Colonoscopy ... give me good vibes

Thanks! I should be OK as long as I’m not shitting my brains out at my daughter’s pool party on Sunday!

 

This one is no pills at all. All liquid, and it's in two parts. One around 6 p.m. tomorrow, the other six hours prior to the procedure. Each one is a 16-ounce mix of the solution and water, then two more 16-ounce glasses of water in the next hour.

Now, that could change if they schedule a 7 a.m. arrival Tuesday or something like that.

 

"Mr. C, what's going on behind...EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!"

 

I've had two. The procedure itself was nothing. The drinking of the vile stuff to clean out your system is pretty awful - at least for me. Among the most unpleasant things I've ever done, in fact. Still, small price to pay for getting checked.

 

I'm right ahead of you. My first one is Friday morning. Hoping I'll be OK by the evening for a trip to Philly and a game Saturday night.

 

I’ve had two.

The first was right before COVID. They found some stuff growing, but it was nothing crazy. They did say come back in three. Switched doctors (mine retired), and I love my new doc. His staff is a bit renecky and Trupid (Trump stupid), and didn’t realize I was every three so I had it in four.

First, they found a couple growths (two internal hemorrhoids and seven internal polyps). Now, they found three polyps. Nothing crazy.

But… this time went so much easier.

I drank powder and took pills, but here is the tip - drink apple juice or things with sugar. Clear Gatorade works. It stops the hunger a little better.

And the knockout drugs they use now are glorious. Like a long nap without any grogginess.

Best of luck, but the process is so much better the second time.

 

My first one was 2 years ago and the doc said I don't need another for 10 years which sounded odd so I'll likely get another in a few years.

 

Not odd at all if they didn't find anything.

 

They really are incredible. They give it to you and by the time the doc finishes saying you'll be out in 10 seconds, you're out. That said, these drugs are, I believe, the ones that killed Michael Jackson. So, you know, just don't take them all day every day.

 

Day of, you'll feel fine physically but shouldn't drive or do anything of consequence until the drugs fully wear off. Next day, you will be 100%.

 

I've had one or two (probably two), and I don't understand the comments about it being a great nap. You're out, then you wake up. It's not refreshing like a nap should be. You're not on your couch for an hour as a game drones on in the background.

 

The best advice I can give you is to take the prep exactly as they say to, and finish every single drop of it no matter how nasty it is. It does you no good getting thrown out after you don't finish it. If you have a poor prep and they don't get good images, the best result you'll get will be an invitation to repeat the test in one year. Perhaps sooner, depends on the doc. The prep is really the worst part. I won't lie, it's pretty miserable between the way the prep tastes and having your guts explode for hours.

Basically, you do the prep and show up. They skin you down to a surgical gown and set an IV. Then the nice anesthesiologist gives you the happy juice and you go out like a light. Typically they give you something to put you out and something that prevents you from remembering any unpleasantness. You then wake up in recovery with your wife or whoever helping you into your clothes and into the car. Then you wake up at home, and more than likely you go flop on the bed and sleep a few more hours.

Generally the worst side effect when you wake up is a lot of gas, as they fill your colon with air so they can get better images. It's not pleasant, but on the scale of medical indignities it's a pretty minor procedure.

I have had four or five now, plus a barium enema with air. That's another whole level of indignity. I have diverticulosis, small pockets in the wall of the colon. Sometimes they get infected and inflamed, possibly rupturing the colon. (Diverticvulitis) Thats why I have colonoscopies more often than most, that and family history. I would add that several pre-cancerous polyps have been removed over the various procedures, and I don't miss their loss the first bit.

Suck it up and get it done. It's cheap insurance. My brother died of complications of colon cancer, and you have my personal guarantee that anything you can do to avoid that you *really* want to do.