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Colonoscopy ... give me good vibes

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by jr/shotglass, Jul 7, 2024.

  1. ChrisLong

    ChrisLong Well-Known Member

    I have two stories related to this:

    1-My Mom had some medical tests and came into my room with information from the doctor. I was probably junior high age. She said, "I just got the results from the doctor and might need surgery. I have a polyp in my rectum." I asked what a polyp was. She pointed to a dictionary and said to look it up. WTF!!!

    Polyphemus
    are a predatory genus of water flea. The two species have four pairs of legs with exopodites, or outer branches.[3] The legs are adapted for catching mobile prey, generally smaller species of water flea such as young Daphnia and Bosmina.[4]

    That was the last definition in the dictionary list for polyp.

    2-I was with her when she was in the recovery room following a colonscopy. The little Filipino nurse was monitoring her as she tried to release the gas. Squeeky voice Filipino accent: "You have to fart. Mrs. Long, you have to fart. C'mon Mrs., you have to fart. You can't go home until you fart. Mrs., please fart."
     
  2. jr/shotglass

    jr/shotglass Well-Known Member

    Why, that solution does taste like ass, doesn't it. LOL.

    (I had to add the word "solution" so it was clear I was not insulting Chris' mom.)
     
    2muchcoffeeman likes this.
  3. MileHigh

    MileHigh Moderator Staff Member

    The last couple of times, they gave me one or two lemonade packets to help with the taste. The last time, I went and got more (yellow powder) and added to it and it made it a little bit better to drink so maybe consider doing that.
     
  4. jr/shotglass

    jr/shotglass Well-Known Member

    Thanks. It's just water the rest of the evening now, and then one more glass of that tomorrow morning. I'm going to grit my teeth and take it.
     
  5. Matt1735

    Matt1735 Well-Known Member

    We can say a lot about you jr, but we can no longer truthfully say you are full of shit. ....
     
    FileNotFound and 2muchcoffeeman like this.
  6. El Guapo

    El Guapo New Member

    Had mine done a few years ago right after birthday 45. I insisted because a coworker younger than me died of colon cancer not long before, and lucky for me insurance companies are covering colonoscopies at younger ages.

    Prep was terrible with a steady diet of ginger ale and Gatorade but I got through the procedure just fine. Some internal hemorrhoids, which I understand is common.

    My wife had hers done last month, also right after her 45th birthday. Apparently, drinking coffee is OK now during the prep period (I was told it wasn't when I was going through mine). With her procedure, the nurse told us t hat bad news travels fast, so if you don't hear directly from your doctor within a couple of days you should be on easy street.
     
    maumann likes this.
  7. Scout

    Scout Well-Known Member

    Damn, Guapo.

    She bueno?
     
  8. El Guapo

    El Guapo New Member

    Yes, everything is fine. The nurse was speaking in general terms.
     
    Scout likes this.
  9. BYH 2: Electric Boogaloo

    BYH 2: Electric Boogaloo Well-Known Member

    Good luck, Shottie! Hope you just get a good nap out of all this.
     
  10. Hermes

    Hermes Well-Known Member

    I read this thread title as “Colonoscopies give me good vibes.”
     
  11. jr/shotglass

    jr/shotglass Well-Known Member

    Out and ALL GOOD. I really appreciate the support. Thanks, all ... now we EAT!!
     
  12. BurnsWhenIPee

    BurnsWhenIPee Well-Known Member

    Even after watching the in-procedure movie, the thing I'll remember most about my procedures is how freaking starving I was afterward.

    Do some damage, jr.
     
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