Could use some prayers

Sorry to hear the news JD --- Much love and hugs for you and your family.
We love ya here.

 

Really sorry to hear, J_D.

 

Sorry about your loss JD.

My dad died almost 25 years ago and it seems like yesterday.

My mom died 5 years ago.

I take them both wherever I go.

 

Writing your mother's obituary is not easy, but it was a kind of therapy for me. Sharing it with my friends here if nobody minds.

Helen Dubois

The family of Helen Marie Desormeaux Dubois, 75, invites friends and
neighbors to a celebration of her life at 11 a.m. Saturday, July 8,
2006, at St. Margaret Catholic Church in Lake Charles.
   She carried each of her four children in her arms for their first
Mass at their hometown church, and together they will gather there to
offer her to God, and as a testament to the beauty of a life of
selfless giving and unblinking courage in the face of death.
   Helen's last breath, Monday in a Houston hospital, marked the
final beat of a heart both tender and tough, strengthened by faith and
a lifetime of loving, sharing and caring. From her birth May 18, 1931,
in Erath, she inspired many with a quiet devotion to those she held
dear. They will tell their stories of Helen and hope to hear others
during remembrances at week's end and beyond.
   She will be laid to rest in Consolata Cemetery in Lake Charles
next to her husband, Whitney Joseph Dubois Jr., who died Nov. 1, 1980.
   They are survived by four children, Lois Clausen and husband Roger
of Lake Charles, Denise Landry and husband Gil of Santa Clara, Calif.,
Renee Gillespie and husband John of Anaheim Hills, Calif., and Carl
Dubois of Baton Rouge. Her daughters and son spent her last months,
weeks, days and hours witnessing her brave struggle with illness, a
fight devoid of complaint and colored by her usual quiet dignity.
   She loved and nurtured nine grandchildren, Elizabeth and Adam
Clausen of Lake Charles, Jackie, John Whitney and Joseph Gillespie of
Anaheim Hills, Calif.; Gilbert Landry of Portland, Ore., Brad Landry
of Lake Charles, Josh Landry of Lafayette and Jacob Landry of Seattle,
Wash.
   Helen's brother Roland Desormeaux lives in Daly City, Calif.
Another brother, Eugene Desormeaux, preceded her in death, as did her
parents, Eluse Desormeaux and Edia Boudreaux Desormeaux, who was later
Edia Oliva.
   Helen grew up in humble circumstances in Erath, living without
most modern conveniences for the first years of her life. She spoke
only Cajun French until the first grade.
   She learned English in the classroom, helped teach it to her
family and became valedictorian of her graduating class at Erath High
School, which she represented at Pelican State. She spent summer
vacations picking cotton in the humid heat of south Louisiana.
   To better herself and her family, she moved after high school to
New Orleans for her first full-time job. She married and moved to Lake
Charles in 1950. As an adult she owned three homes, the last purchased
proudly on her own and built by the sweat and love of her son-inlaw,
Gil Landry.
   Once widowed, she worked at the Calcasieu Parish School Board
Accounts Payable Department and increased her nest egg through careful
planning and her trademark thrift. She spoke with conviction about
elected leaders borrowing from the future instead of having to balance
a budget like she did, and she insisted she could have taught them a
few things about economical spending.
   A lifetime of coupon clipping, sale seeking and selfsacrifice — so
her family could have better opportunities than she had — shaped her
self-sufficiency and enabled her to live comfortably without asking
for help. She did so quietly, not wanting to burden her children, for
whom she was always quick to offer help despite her limited resources,
even to the end.
   They have lost a good listener, a loyal friend, a devoted
seamstress and the personification of the book "The Giving Tree." The
community has lost a tireless and savvy volunteer.
   An inveterate maker of lists, she could have easily been the face
of the Post-it note had the fates found her at the right time. She put
them to good use, as the refrigerator, desks and counter tops of her
home still testify.

 

The serenity prayer was her favorite. What she could change, she
worked hard to do. What she could not, she offered to her God.
She enjoyed sending a card in the mail to let you know she was
thinking of you. Later, despite her initial doubts, she became
comfortable with her computer and loved to send and receive emails.
Helen appreciated the funny ones but really loved the spiritual and
inspirational.
If outraged by injustice she might utter "bull corn," and if
someone angered her or threatened her children, she might think about
sticking out her tongue at them. Of course, she would never actually
do it.
She enjoyed traveling with and to see her children. She was always
taken by the mountains after living in the flatlands her entire life.
She always wished she had a sister but gladly loved and cared for her
brothers, who called her an inspiration.
Helen joined Catholic Daughters of America decades ago, became an
officer and sang with the St. Margaret choir for years. She loved
music, and she often hummed her favorite songs or hymns. it is
probably no coincidence she collected miniature angels and
hummingbirds.
She enjoyed the friendship and fun of a bowling league as a young
adult and, later her Pokeno group. She loved to dance to Cajun music,
work in her yard and watch sports, including those played by and
written about by her son.
She was an Eucharistic Minister at St. Margaret, a member of
Caring Hearts Church Ministry and a Bible study group.
She knelt beside her bed to pray throughout her life, and when she
could no longer kneel or get out of her hospital bed, her children
gathered next to her and prayed for her. They know heaven now rejoices
and welcomes her.
Visitation is from 1-10 p.m. Friday at Johnson Funeral Home in
Lake Charles, including a rosary at 7 p.m. Further visitation is from
9-10 a.m. Saturday, followed by a funeral procession to St. Margaret
for Helen's special Mass at 11 a.m.
In lieu of flowers, donations in her memory are encouraged to: St.
Margaret Catholic School, 2510 Enterprise Blvd., Lake Charles, LA
70601 or Aishel House Apartment Ministry, 1955 University Blvd.,
Houston, TX 77030.
A doctor at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center Hospital, after reading
Helen's chart a few weeks before her death, walked into her room to
meet her for the first time and said, "You look so much better in
person than you do on paper."
If you have read this far, you should know the doctor's words are
true with a depth and certainty that far exceed their intended
context.

 

Wow - beautiful job.

What a neat, neat special lady.

 

JD,

Your mother and my mother would have been in the same grade in school. I think they would have been friends.



Writing those things is about the hardest thing you can do. But you wouldn't want anyone else to do it.

 

I still have my mom, but the day my dad went to the big Irish pub in the sky still ranks as my worst day ever.  In fact, I was absoulutely saturated with grief for about a year.  The only way I pulled through was knowing that he wouldn't have wanted me to be immobilized by his loss...tried to honor his memory by keeping my shit together.

Kick ass obit...she was lucky to have a son who would write that.  And you were lucky to have her, sounds like.  You were both blessed.  Peace.

 

Please accept my condolensces on your loss, it has been a difficult year. Your write-up is inspirational.