Crazy bastards you work with

Junior college paper. Photographer of ours shows up for one of the school's board of directors meetings, early one Monday morning. Unassigned to the meeting, he walks in, complete with a leather jacket and motorcycle helmet, and says, "I'm with the student newspaper and demand a seat." Trying to oblige, the president offers him a seat on a table alongside the main meeting table. Our photog refuses and says he'd like to sit at the main table. They relent, but before he sits down, he goes over to a refreshments table and FILLS HIS MOTORCYCLE HELMET WITH DOUGNHUTS!
Getting, of course, weird stares throughout, he sits down and puts the helmet in his lap. As the meeting continues, he begins munching on the pastries and then suddenly lays his head on the table and falls asleep.
Needless to say, he's asked to leave. He soon after admitted to us his bi-polar disorder. Luckily, the school year was down to the final issue and as editor-in-chief, I didn't have to fire him. We basically sought help for him. he returned the next school year, but did not choose to work for us.

 

Puts a new meaning to, I Can't Count.

 

He takes his dog-eared copy of "Boots' Anal Adventures" in with him.

 

He's been caught in the throws of passion a few times. I haven't and don't want to see it or hear it. And I have stopped giving him High Fives.

 

Aren't weird people great? Honestly, how boring would life be without these insane sumbitches?

My family, for years, operated this small but very profitable export business (I'll let you guess the exports). I don't know that we had one sane customer or buyer -- ever. All of these people were absolutely nuts.

We had one guy who would only shower if it was sunny (Reasoning: He didn't sweat and get "dirty" if it was cloudy). Had another dude who drank anitfreeze -- all the time. We had some work trucks and a couple of forklifts around and, if you wanted to keep 'em from overheating, you had to lock up the antifreeze. Had another guy who would come in just beat to Holy hell like four, five days a week. Turned out, it was his wife beating the shit out of him and he was ASKING her to do it. Asked him why and he said, I swear to God, "Makes me feel better about sleeping with her mother."

And since we were exporting, we also got the International nuts. Had this Japanese guy who couldn't keep his pants on -- literally. For whatever reason, whenever the guy had the slightest bit of alcohol, his first move was to remove his pants ... and underwear. Bailed this guy out at least three times for public indecency. Once, he was arrested half-naked sitting in a bar. Apparently, he went to the bathroom and came out without his pants. We also had this Chinese dude who was a klepto and a pathological liar. You wanna talk about a combo, this dude would steal shit right in front of you and then lie about it. And I'm talking about stealing dumb shit, like picking stuff up off the desk right in front of you and putting it in his pocket, and then swearing to you that he had no idea what you were talking about.

They were all a pain in the ass, but damn if they didn't make life a helluva lot more interesting.

 

I think we have our winner here ...

 

Try me.

 

An audio engineer at my station pulled aside a reporter buddy of mine late at night on a weekend. Asks him "You ever hear of 'Real Dolls?'"

My friend -- who barely knows this guy -- tells him no.

Audio dude starts explaining, while pulling out pictures printed off the web. "They're sex dolls - but not like those inflatable one. These feel and look like real girls. They even weigh as much as a real girl. Lots of guys get them. Some guys" -- he looks around the newsroom, then leans in close -- "some guys fall in love."

My friend starts looking for an exit from the conversation, but audio guy won't quit. He pulls out another picture.

"Hey... check out what I did with Photoshop."

My buddy looks at the photo. The dude has used Photoshop to give the rubber sex doll a third breast and turn the vagina sideways.

 

For whatever reason, all I could do was picture a certain Milton Waddams of Office Space fame while reading your post.

 

Freudian slip of the year.

 

I've worked at my current job with not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 people who have received full medical disability for mental problems in the past decade. And the working environment at this job is far, far better than any place I've ever worked in this business.

Two were copy editors, one was a news reporter with the easiest beat on the staff, and the other was married to one of the previously mentioned crazy copy editors ... I honestly don't know what he did daily. I remember two of the women crying a lot about the amount of stories they were being asked to edit, then within a couple of years they were both gone, drawing a full salary until they reach retirement age. Both were in their early 50s when they left.

Crazy bastards ...? Crazy like a fox, I think.

 

As has so often been said at SportsJournalists.com, this thread is no good without pictures.