Crossed Giblets of Death: The SJ Thanksgiving Family Therapy Thread

As I just posted on the other thread, we will be travelling together to my mother's house, where I grew up. She has dialup and a Gateway 386. Estimated time for each post to load: 3 hours 22 seconds. We may need some filler. Or an extra blackberry battery.

Also, Mr Bastard, the highlight (for me) of last year's (this) thread was your dramatic narrative of the mysterious Guatamalan cleaning lady. I wonder whatever happened to her. She went for an eyebrow wax and never returned.

 

Do you think Myles Standish's mother was there for dinner?

'Myles dear, do you even know those people? Can you suggest that perhaps the men wear some trousers? What is that, corn? Do you know where it's been? I wonder, should i bring out the bridge set? Do you think they know bridge? Do we have enough ice?'

 

21, you need one of these.

 

I can't believe we're talking about Thanksgiving. Didn't the World Series just end last week? Christ.

Or perhaps I'm just trying not to think about Thanksgiving because this Thanksgiving promises to be more...........interesting.........than usual. My wife's cousin is having all sorts of issues at school...the issue being he won't go. He's 14, a freshman in HS and he's getting home-schooled because he goes into a rage at school. He also goes into rages at home and in the car, and it almost always comes out of nowhere. They've visited a psychiatrist, but nothing's doing yet. We're all quite obviously worried about him.

The thought of him going into a rage at Thanksgiving with my wife's 85-year-old grandmother watching as her heart breaks does not fill me with joy. There's a chance they may just stay in Jersey for the day...but that's unlikely since his mom cherishes any opportunity to spend time with her mom (the 85-year-old). I hate to say it but I'm hoping they end up staying home and it's just me, my wife, her mom and grandma.

 

I heart 21.

 

... Boom?

 

Restraining order in effect until 2009.

 

Guess I won't have to worry about this this year.

 

I'm thrilled in advance that I won't be at my ex's fascist family gathering this year. Last year I hung out with the whole clan and I felt like I was at an Oral Roberts revival. And no alcohol. Wouldn't have been so bad if I could have quietly got sauced, but noooo.